IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #site #school #plan #changes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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While
Linking Words
 the first figure illustrates the site of the
school
Use synonyms
 in 2004 including 600 students, the second one shows the prediction of the site
school
Use synonyms
 in 2024, which will
be including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
 1000 students.
Overall
Linking Words
, at first glance, it becomes clear that,
although
Linking Words
 some facilities will remain steadily, others will be expanded and some new facilities will be built in the future. First of all,
while
Linking Words
 the two
school
Use synonyms
 buildings will remain
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
 in the future, it is predicted that a connection way will be designed, connecting
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 buildings with each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a more
school
Use synonyms
 building is going to
be build
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
 in 2024.
Although
Linking Words
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 park and main entrance will
be stayed
Change to the active voice
stay
have stayed
show examples
 in their current location, a new road will be created to connect
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 car parks together, which will be constructed in 2024.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there were a variety of different plants and trees in 2004, it is
prejection
Correct your spelling
projection
rejection
 that in the year 2024, more trees must be planted. it is noticeable that in 2024 the sports field will be both relocated and decreased in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
size.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the average number of students will be increased in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2024, reaching from 600 to 1000
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by mahanz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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