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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #results #survey #people #city #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph compares the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 moving to the capital city
out of
Change preposition
for
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 four major reasons—namely
employment
Use synonyms
, study, family/friends, and
adventrue
Correct your spelling
adventure
—from 2000 to 2015, spanning a 15-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
employment
Use synonyms
 and study stood out as the two most dominant drives.
While
Linking Words
 family/friends and
adventure
Use synonyms
 are less likely to cause
people
Use synonyms
 to relocate to the capital city. Starting at 25000 in 2000, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who relocated because of academic reasons had
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 substantial growth over the 15 years. Even with some fluctuations, it reached its highest point at 87000 by 2015, tripled the starting figure and almost overtook
employment
Use synonyms
 to be the top reason. In the meantime,
employment
Use synonyms
 saw a similar trend during the first 10 years, reaching its peak at 91000 in 2010. But later went downwards and dropped to the same level as study.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the counterparts for family/friend and
adventure
Use synonyms
 started at a relatively low point of 10000, and only saw a mild increase by 2015. The number of
people
Use synonyms
 who moved for family/
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 rose slightly more dramatically than the counterpart for
adventure
Use synonyms
, hitting 23000 in 2015, which is about 8000 more than the number for
adventure
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by daisysungx on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, employment, adventure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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