Some people argue that keeping pets is beneficial for longevity while others believe that household animals are not healthy for people to have as companions. Discuss both sides of the argument and which side you support, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays , a lot of people are adopting
animals
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to be in their company because of
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
they can get from them . Some individuals believe that
pets
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have a crucial impact on having a longer
life
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.
whereas
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, some
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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that keeping
animals
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at home is unhealthy for some reasons . Personally ,
i
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I
show examples
agree with having
pets
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at home because of many important advantages that
i
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I
show examples
will provide in
this
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essay to clarify my point of view .
Firstly
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, There are many reasons for adopting
animals
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and the
most
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apply
show examples
prime factor is that
recerches
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researchers
researches
approved
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approve
show examples
that they are
efficting
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affecting
in a good way on their
owners
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owner's
owners'
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mental health .
For instance
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, many
therapist
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therapists
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are treating
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treat
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people with mental diseases
with
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by
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giving them the advice to bring a new member to the family namely
rappits
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rappers
rapports
or
Correct article usage
a cats
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cats
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cat
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and the most common one is getting a dog because dogs are very loyal to their owner .
Therefore
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,
pets
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are
also
Linking Words
making the house atmosphere much happier and
comfortable
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more comfortable
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for house members .
Thre
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There
show examples
, in my own
life
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have a
rappit
Correct your spelling
rapport
that
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is
Verb problem
has
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effectively helped me to pass my finals with less
streess
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stress
.
Secondly
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,
in other
Linking Words
words
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words,
show examples
some humans said that having
a household
Correct the article-noun agreement
household animals
a household animal
show examples
animals
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can be harmful in some cases .
For example
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,
pets
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can carry on diseases that can end a human being
such
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as scabies and
gardia
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giardia
gardenia
and many
typs
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types
of sickness .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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all
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this
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these
show examples
symptoms can be treated
be
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by
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giving
vaccine
Add an article
the vaccine
a vaccine
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to the animal and
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
them to the vetrian to check up
regeruly
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regularly
. In conclusion ,
pets
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are showing important
effecting
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effects
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
life
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regard
Wrong verb form
regarding
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the illness
it
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they
show examples
can give you because it is easy to get rid of them . And i
advice
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advise
show examples
any one
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anyone
show examples
having
hard
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a hard
show examples
time in their
life
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to have
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own pet and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
garentee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
that it will help .
Submitted by hooralahmadx4 on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify the main points in each paragraph and ensure they are logically connected. Strengthening transitions between ideas will improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all relevant points of the argument are covered in detail, substantiated with examples where necessary.
language use
Revisit grammar and vocabulary to eliminate inaccuracies and improve sentence structures, helping to convey ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in understanding.
task achievement
The writer has successfully included personal examples to support their arguments, making the essay more relatable and persuasive.
task achievement
The topic is well understood, and both sides of the argument are addressed, indicating a balanced approach to the discussion.
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