Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health poblems. Sugary products should be made more expense to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #poblems #expense #people

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Nowadays many products are made with a large level of

Use synonyms

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

that can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

people

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's health .

Whereas

Linking Words

, The prime

way

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to prevent

this

Linking Words

problem is by increasing

this

Linking Words

type of

food

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or drink prices . Personally ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

this

Linking Words

statement to stop some common

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

from spreading . And

also

Linking Words

to encourage

people

Use synonyms

to consume more healthy alternatives .

Firslty

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, eating high levels of

Use synonyms

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

products can lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious

damge

Correct your spelling

damage

Change preposition

show examples

the human body and

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are a huge number of individuals

suffring

Correct your spelling

suffering

from obesity and

diebetes

Correct your spelling

diseases

for instance

Linking Words

, unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

that

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

Use synonyms

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

can raise the

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suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

unusual

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an unusual

show examples

Use synonyms

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

in the blood and cause

diebetes

Correct your spelling

diabetes

therefore

Linking Words

, children and even old

people

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are consuming

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

Use synonyms

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

contanint

Correct your spelling

containing

contains

content

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food

Change to a plural noun

foods

show examples

and

drink

Correct subject-verb agreement

drinks

show examples

these days which is not

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

habitat and

this

Linking Words

is the most common reason for increasing obesity levels in the

last

Linking Words

deacades

Correct your spelling

decades

decade

secondly

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their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are many things that can prevent

people

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from eating

this

Linking Words

type of

food

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but the most

effecitve

Correct your spelling

effective

way

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is by charging

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of manufactured products because that will help them to start searching for the

cheapist

Correct your spelling

cheapest

and it is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

food

Use synonyms

. in my

way

Use synonyms

of thinking that will

completily

Correct your spelling

completely

end the diseases in the

comunity

Correct your spelling

community

for example

Linking Words

, if they

went

Wrong verb form

show examples

market

Add an article

the market

show examples

and

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

that not healthy

food

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is expensive they will

prefire

Correct your spelling

prefer

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

low

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

price

Wrong verb form

priced

show examples

eats . in conclusion ,

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show examples

think that raising prices would

show

Verb problem

have

show examples

a good effect and we will be seeing a huge decline

about

Change preposition

show examples

sickness humans

while

Linking Words

it must be the best

way

Use synonyms

to force

people

Use synonyms

manage

Add the particle

to manage

show examples

their health wisely .

Submitted by hooralahmadx4 on Mon Dec 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow and clarity of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider using more linking words or phrasing to show connection and contrast between points.

task achievement

Try to develop your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This means not only mentioning concepts like 'obesity' or 'diabetes' but providing more context or detailed cases.

task achievement

Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and dealing with spelling errors. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and spelling (such as 'sugar' and 'damage') will enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your main argument and summarizing it effectively.

task achievement

You've tackled the task well by addressing the key issue of health problems caused by high sugar content and suggesting how economic disincentives could be effective to mitigate it.

task achievement

You've acknowledged a clear societal problem and proposed a solution while considering potential impacts on consumer behavior.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health poblems. Sugary products should be made more expense to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries student pay their fees by themselves but in some countries it has been paid by government

Some parents bring their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

All parents wants the best opportunities for their children, there are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future

Some people view video games as harmful, while others believe they have positive impacts, such as enhancing educational skills. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.