Nowadays there are more and more advertisements. Some people think that they have a negative influence on people, and therefore should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

#advertisements #people #influence

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The

increase

Replace the word

increased

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number of

advertisements

Use synonyms

has made people worried about its negative consequences and

urge

Wrong verb form

urged

show examples

it to be limited. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate more about my arguments.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the rise

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

advertisements'

Change noun form

advertisements

show examples

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

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could lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overconsumption behaviour. One of the main goals of advertising is to shape our behaviour towards consuming

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

thus

Linking Words

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraging

show examples

us to buy

products

Use synonyms

that actually we do not need or buy more.

For example

Linking Words

, we tend to crave

to eat

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a fast food

Remove the article

fast food

a portion of fast food

show examples

after we see an image of

delicious

Correct article usage

a delicious

show examples

hamburger

Change preposition

show examples

a billboard, even when we are not too hungry

Change preposition

show examples

that time.

Thus

Linking Words

, an advertisement could push us to consume more than we usually are.

Secondly

Linking Words

, product promotions often use the strategy to

decieve

Correct your spelling

deceive

the negative impact of certain

products

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

pushing us to consume

products

Use synonyms

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not healthy for our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

. It sometimes

depict

Change the verb form

depicts

show examples

the product as not having

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative consequences and

promise

Change the verb form

promises

show examples

you the benefits of consuming it.

For example

Linking Words

, the cigarette

industries

Fix the agreement mistake

industry

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mainly relies on

advertisements

Use synonyms

to shape our perception towards cigarettes

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

often associated with masculinity and bravery, despite the negative impacts of cancer and many more that

cigarette

Fix the agreement mistake

cigarettes

show examples

could bring to our health. In conclusion, I do agree that the soaring number of

advertisements

Use synonyms

could bring negative consequences

such

Linking Words

as overconsumption and

deceivance

Correct your spelling

deceiving

of the

products

Use synonyms

that it promotes.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

agree that

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

need to be regulated strictly in order to limit

its influences

Fix the agreement mistake

their influence

show examples

on people's behaviour.

Submitted by rhisaaidilla on Mon Dec 30 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main question. Use more explicit transitions to show how your ideas relate to each other.

Language

Review your grammar and vocabulary use to improve precision. Minor word choice errors can obscure meaning slightly.

Language

Provide more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt effectively by presenting arguments for restricting advertisements.

Task Achievement

Relevant examples, such as commercials on fast food and cigarettes, effectively support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay maintains a clear position throughout, with a solid introduction and conclusion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Nowadays there are more and more advertisements. Some people think that they have a negative influence on people, and therefore should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.

A new sports centre has opened in your area. You want to visit the new sports centre and get some information. Write an letter to your friend to invite him/her.

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.