Nowadays there are more and more advertisements. Some people think that they have a negative influence on people, and therefore should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

increase

Replace the word

increased

show examples

number of

advertisements

Use synonyms

has made people worried about its negative consequences and

urge

Wrong verb form

urged

show examples

it to be limited. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate more about my arguments.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the rise

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

advertisements'

Change noun form

advertisements

show examples

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

show examples

could lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overconsumption behaviour. One of the main goals of advertising is to shape our behaviour towards consuming

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

thus

Linking Words

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraging

show examples

us to buy

products

Use synonyms

that actually we do not need or buy more.

For example

Linking Words

, we tend to crave

to eat

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a fast food

Remove the article

fast food

a portion of fast food

show examples

after we see an image of

delicious

Correct article usage

a delicious

show examples

hamburger

Change preposition

show examples

a billboard, even when we are not too hungry

Change preposition

show examples

that time.

Thus

Linking Words

, an advertisement could push us to consume more than we usually are.

Secondly

Linking Words

, product promotions often use the strategy to

decieve

Correct your spelling

deceive

the negative impact of certain

products

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

pushing us to consume

products

Use synonyms

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not healthy for our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

. It sometimes

depict

Change the verb form

depicts

show examples

the product as not having

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative consequences and

promise

Change the verb form

promises

show examples

you the benefits of consuming it.

For example

Linking Words

, the cigarette

industries

Fix the agreement mistake

industry

show examples

mainly relies on

advertisements

Use synonyms

to shape our perception towards cigarettes

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

often associated with masculinity and bravery, despite the negative impacts of cancer and many more that

cigarette

Fix the agreement mistake

cigarettes

show examples

could bring to our health. In conclusion, I do agree that the soaring number of

advertisements

Use synonyms

could bring negative consequences

such

Linking Words

as overconsumption and

deceivance

Correct your spelling

deceiving

of the

products

Use synonyms

that it promotes.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

agree that

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

need to be regulated strictly in order to limit

its influences

Fix the agreement mistake

their influence

show examples

on people's behaviour.

rhisaaidillaMon Dec 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main question. Use more explicit transitions to show how your ideas relate to each other.

Language

Review your grammar and vocabulary use to improve precision. Minor word choice errors can obscure meaning slightly.

Language

Provide more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt effectively by presenting arguments for restricting advertisements.

Task Achievement

Relevant examples, such as commercials on fast food and cigarettes, effectively support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay maintains a clear position throughout, with a solid introduction and conclusion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion
After getting a Bachelor's degree, we all need to find jobs that provide us with earnings for a living. Some believe that starting their first jobs at reputed companies will support their working experience in the future, while others believe beginning their jobs at small corporations can benefit them better than the large ones. For me, I prefer working with big companies. In the following paragraphs, these both views and my opinion will be outlined.
7
band
Companies that use fossil fuels should be taxed more than companies that use green energies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that companies that are not using renewable energy should pay more taxes than their counterpart. This essay completely agrees with this statement because this can encourage them to transition into using alternative energy and the revenue from these taxes can be used in dealing with issues in the environment.
4.5
band
Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?
In a competitive society, the majority of community prefer to performance long hours, which can leave a very little time to spend with friends, and family or to pursue hobbies. Some crowd choose that making money and achieving bright future goals is more sufficient than having a rest moment.However, I totally agree that task and leisure should be equal conditions.
4
band
Describe a science subject (Biology, Robotics, etc.) that you are interested in.
Today, I would like to share an interesting science subject, my favorite one, which is called Chemistry.
8
band
Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's world, where technology is becoming faster, cheaper and more widespread to the average consumer, some people often ask themselves if they should abandon the traditional way of going to school and instead learn online at home. From my perspective, although there are certain disadvantages, learning online is the best way to prepare students for the future and offer them a more efficient approach to studying.

Nowadays there are more and more advertisements. Some people think that they have a negative influence on people, and therefore should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Companies that use fossil fuels should be taxed more than companies that use green energies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?

Describe a science subject (Biology, Robotics, etc.) that you are interested in.

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.