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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The pie and bar chart below
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about young
people
Use synonyms
 in
town
Add an article
the town
a town
show examples
 in Australia currently attending the types of dance classes and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the location. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 attending classes in private studios
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 the highest with about 48
percent
Use synonyms
. Following
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private studios, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in school halls is 24
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Community halls and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 have 18
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 attending there. College-based studios have the lowest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 attending there with 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Ballet is the
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
show examples
 that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are in the
under 11
Add a hyphen
under-11
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 with around 600
people
Use synonyms
 and the lowest
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 in the 11-16
group
Use synonyms
 with about 300
people
Use synonyms
 attending. Tap has
people
Use synonyms
 in 2 groups attending the same with nearly 450
people
Use synonyms
. Modern have the
people
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 in the under 11
group
Use synonyms
 the same ballet with around 300
people
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in the 11-16
group
Use synonyms
 of modern following highest with around 530.
Submitted by linh.le0995 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number, percent, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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