Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue their work. To what extent do you agree?

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It is often argued by some that numerous
artists
Use synonyms
earn
meagerly
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meagre
show examples
salaries and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should fund them in demand to continue their career.
Although
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some might disagree with the notion;
however
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, I completely agree. Not only because of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
talent
and
Correct word choice
apply
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but
also
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because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
requirements of
Use synonyms
artists
Change noun form
artists'
artist's
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works
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work
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.
This
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essay will enunciate how these factors justify my opinion.
Firstly
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,being
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
an artists
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artists
Fix the agreement mistake
artist
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is
the
Correct article usage
a
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talent.
As it
Correct word choice
It
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is not easy to become
artist
Add an article
an artist
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and
it's requires
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it requires
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a lot of hard work.
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for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
example making exhibitions from your imagination and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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individuals
to
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apply
show examples
feel it is not an easy task.
Thus
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, the government should
pays
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pay
show examples
enough funds to
artists
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
so that
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they can fulfill their needs to continue their projects.
Secondly
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, apart from the brilliant
honor
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honour
show examples
, the work of
artists
Use synonyms
is
also
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worth in the museums.As the sculptures and paintings are
maden
Correct your spelling
made
by the masters and placed in the museums .
For instance
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, the work done by the masters
also
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cost
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands or more $ because of their creativity.
Hence
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, there should be good rewards for
such
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creators from the governments. In conclusion, the above evidence made it clear that
,
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apply
show examples
unbeatable
honor
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honour
show examples
and requirements of the
creators
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creator's
creators'
show examples
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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really essential for nations. So for that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should pay them a charity.
Submitted by nidarif855 on

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language
Improve sentence structure and grammar. For instance, ensure subjects and verbs agree and use precise language.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph has a distinct point that connects smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support each point.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, creating a complete structure.
task achievement
The author provides a rationale for government funding, such as the value of talent and the significance of artistic work.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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