The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is a common belief that

government

Correct article usage

the government

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most

occasionlly

Correct your spelling

occasionally

infringe on people's rights for the safety of

public

Add an article

the public

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This

Linking Words

essay agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement because it protects the members of the society and

this

Linking Words

could benefit every individual in the country. It is a common belief that various things can influence the academic achievements and emotional growth of a minor and some people think that the impact of a friend

outweigh

Change the verb form

outweighs

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the educator.

This

Linking Words

essay

agress

Correct your spelling

agrees

with

this

Linking Words

statement because students spend more time with classmates compared to educators and

theu

Correct your spelling

the

they

develop emotions by adapting close individual feelings.

yujinkim412Tue Dec 31 2024

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task response

Clarify the main argument in your introduction and ensure it aligns completely with the given topic. Make sure to focus on only one essay question. You started with one topic concerning government interference for security, then shifted to another topic about the influences on minors' education. Keep your essay focused on just one topic.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay more clearly into paragraphs, dedicating each to a separate main point or supporting argument. Begin with an introductory paragraph clearly stating your stance, include body paragraphs that develop your argument, and conclude with a summarizing paragraph. Stay consistent with the essay structure.

task response

You have demonstrated the ability to start addressing a complex topic with contemporary relevance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

98 words

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The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many teenagers have their own smartphones. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.