IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, saving
money
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 for the
future
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is
Verb problem
has
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 very essential for everyone. Considering young
people
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 to save some funds for
the
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apply
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future
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purpose
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purposes
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 is beneficial for their betterment. I totally agree with
this
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 viewpoint and will mention some reasons
along with
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 related examples in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous reasons that can be considered to support that having sufficient funds is vital for all individuals. First and foremost, one can use saved
money
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 in the
future
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 for any emergency.
As a result
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, they do not have to be worried and stressed in
the
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apply
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difficult situations. To illustrate, a study by the University of Waterloo mentioned that 50% of
people
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 in the world are using saved funds for the medical emergency.
Moreover
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, adults can
also
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fulfill
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fulfil
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 their needs and
wants
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want
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as well as
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 support their families by using savings.
Therefore
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, they can help their near and dear ones in happy or
sorrow
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sorrowful
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 moments.
For instance
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, youngsters can support their parents by paying school fees and lessen the financial burden
of
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on
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 the family.
Additionally
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, it is beneficial for all individuals to save
certain
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a certain
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 amount of
money
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 from their income to buy necessary things
such
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 as
house
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a house
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, car, and other essential requirements in the
upcoming
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apply
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future
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.
To conclude
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, having a habit of saving
money
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 can be helpful to all
age
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ages
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 of
people
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by
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apply
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personally, financially, and professionally. Apart from that,
this
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 development teaches lots of lessons and things to
people
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 in the community. By saving
money
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, one can be successful in their
lives
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life
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 and
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their dreams.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear argument for saving money, ensure each point is developed comprehensively. Expand on how saving can specifically benefit young people rather than making generalized statements.
coherence
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas. This could include using more varied transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support each point you make. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the main ideas presented throughout the text.
clarity
You express a clear opinion on the topic, demonstrating your stance on the importance of saving money effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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