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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Financial stability is crucial for everyone.
Therefore
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, it is of paramount importance for human beings to save
money
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 for their upcoming life, regardless of their age. And, I fully support
this
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 view as there are many advantages to it, which are elaborated
in
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on in
show examples
 the
further
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 essay. Several reasons can be put forth to understand the importance of having adequate financial means available at all times. The predominant reason is that it will be a blessing in emergency situations. If an individual is saving a portion of their
income
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 as liquid cash,
then
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 it can be utilised in the future when the source of
income
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 is low or there is no source of
income
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. A recent breakout of the COVID-19 virus is a perfect example of
this
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. Many people suffered from the loss of
income
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 as businesses were closed.
However
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, individuals who had required financial means available
due to
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 their pro-activeness in saving
money
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 did not have any impact on their lives.
Additionally
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, saved
money
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 could be a great resource when any opportunity arises to add a source of
income
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.
For example
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, if an individual has the capital to invest in any business
then
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 they can do that by simply withdrawing
money
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 from their bank account, rather than taking a loan with heavy interest from the bank. A good example of
this
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 is the story of many successful startups around the world. A study has suggested that about 78% of the founders of startups
initially
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 funded their businesses with their own savings.
To conclude
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, saving
money
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 is vital, as not only will be helpful in difficult times to compensate for loss of
income
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, but
also
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 it will open doors to many
income
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 upscaling opportunities.

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide a more thorough exploration of counterarguments to strengthen your position. Consider addressing potential disadvantages of saving money to provide balance.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. This will enhance the clarity of your points.
task achievement
The introduction is clear and succinct, effectively presenting your viewpoint on the importance of saving money for the future.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the impact of COVID-19 and data on startup funding, adds credibility and substance to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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