It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, it
is
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has been
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crucial for everyone to save
money
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for a better lifestyle.
Due to
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several factors, young
people
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are required to save
money
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for their great future. I totally agree with
this
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statement and will elaborate
some
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on some
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related reasons with valid examples in the following essay.
To begin
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with, several reasons can be put forth to support that
money
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saving is a good habit for youngsters. The predominant reason is that one is able to help their family financially.
For instance
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, children can pay school fees by themselves and help their parents.
Moreover
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, by saving
money
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young generation can manage their personal life independently
and
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, and
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it can
also
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be useful in emergency situations
such
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as
medical
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a medical
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emergency. Apart from these,
the
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apply
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another benefit is that by saving
money
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, young
people
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can
fulfill
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fulfil
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their needs and wants without any hesitation. We cannot ignore that youngsters can finance their long-term goals, something
like
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as
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child education and buying
house
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a house
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by
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, by
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saving
money
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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habit is extremely beneficial for young
people
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to learn and know about various skills,
such
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as how to manage and spend
money
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and how to manage financial responsibilities. At the very least, saving
money
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can provide them motivation and provide correct directions
about
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on
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to
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apply
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how to live a personal and professional life.
To conclude
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,
this
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trend has numerous advantages for young
people
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.
This
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can be beneficial for them to build their future by investing
money
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in assets.
As well as
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young generations do not need to rely on their family to complete their necessities and demands.
The most
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Most
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importantly, it can be helpful to them in any crisis.

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structure
Add clear topic sentences and keep one main idea per paragraph so the flow is easy.
content
Give more clear and simple examples that show how saving helps in real life.
language
Use shorter, clearer sentences and fix long wordy lines.
language
Check grammar errors like 'the another benefit' and improve word use.
structure
Finish with a strong end that restates your view and sums up main ideas.
content
You show a clear view that saving is good for young people.
structure
You use linking words to show how ideas go with each other.
content
You discuss several good points about money saving.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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