It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Saving
funds
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for the future is vital for everyone regardless of their age. I completely agree with that as saving becomes crucial in emergency situations and opens many doors to investing opportunities.
Therefore
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, these benefits are elaborated in
further
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paragraphs. Life savings are key to a better future. The predominant advantage is that it is a blessing when the time is tough because we use these reserved
funds
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to fulfil our essential needs. The perfect example is the recent breakout of the COVID-19 virus in the world, where many individuals and families struggled financially
due to
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inadequate
funds
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available
while
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those who had enough money lived stress-free during those difficult times.
Besides
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that, many lost their life as they were not able to afford the medical expenses.
Additionally
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, there are
also
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other gains that one could get through planning
income
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and spending only when necessary.
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Due to that
Change preposition
That
show examples
another major benefit is that it helps one to build assets from where they could
also
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add a source of
income
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.
Such
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as, if an individual has saved enough to buy a second home
then
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they could earn extra money through that asset and not only that they could
also
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benefit from the increased market value of the house when they decide to sell it.
To conclude
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, in order to build a sustainable life one must save money as there are benefits like it could be used when the primary
income
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is low
as well as
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having
funds
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available that could be used as investment will generate extra
income
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.
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a logical flow, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help the reader follow your line of reasoning easily. Your essay mostly does this well, but consider a more detailed outline in the introduction to summarize your main points.
task achievement
While your response is overall strong, ensure every point made clearly ties back to the central thesis (saving money is important for everyone). Some examples could be more explicitly connected to young people's context as well.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay begins with a clear stance on the topic, and your introduction sets up the essay well.
supported main points
You effectively use examples, such as the COVID-19 situation, to support your argument and enhance understanding.
complete response
The conclusion succinctly reiterates your argument, effectively summarizing the benefits of saving money.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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