Once children start to go to school, schools influence them on their intellectual and social developments more than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

One of the

Use synonyms

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

responsibilities towards their

children

Use synonyms

is education.

With education

Change preposition

Education

show examples

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a really big impact in

Use synonyms

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

development. Most

parents

Use synonyms

enrolled

Wrong verb form

enrol

show examples

their

Use synonyms

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

school

Use synonyms

so that their

child

Use synonyms

can meet others &

also

Linking Words

learn something daily.

Therefore

Linking Words

school

Use synonyms

is a crucial factor because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it is

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

influence on the

Use synonyms

kid

Change noun form

kid's

show examples

intellectual and social

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

, sometimes even more than the

parents

Use synonyms

. Personally,

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with the statement.

While

Linking Words

Use synonyms

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

most of their time

home

Change preposition

at home

show examples

, it is not guaranteed that the

children

Use synonyms

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

taken care of. Some

parents

Use synonyms

may

left

Change the verb form

leave

show examples

their

child

Use synonyms

with the maid, or they could be just emotionally unavailable. There are lots of

children

Use synonyms

out there who have to learn

eveything

Correct your spelling

everything

by themselves with no parental guidance. Some

Use synonyms

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

become

uncontrolable

Correct your spelling

uncontrollable

or just simply seeking for attention every time. With good parenting,

children

Use synonyms

can experience a stable environment, but

that is

Linking Words

not always the case.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason,

Change the capitalization

show examples

think a good

school

Use synonyms

& education can really help

children

Use synonyms

growing

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

up. In

school

Use synonyms

, the

child

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

experience some things

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not usual in their home. They can explore more & socialize with other kids.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, with

present

Add an article

the present

a present

show examples

teacher, they can have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

real guidance

that is

Linking Words

equal.

iigness05Wed Jan 01 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in discussing why schools might have more influence than parents, as well as examples of this influence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the thesis. The ideas are somewhat organized but can benefit from a more logical order and clarity.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, use more transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay introduces the topic with a clear opinion, which shows a solid starting point for the response.

task achievement

The use of contrast between parental and school influence is a good approach to address the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

205 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

social norms
intellectual development
formal education
emotional support
extracurricular activities
peer pressure
life skills
cultural identity
moral values
academic knowledge
mentorship
cognitive growth
behavioral influence
developmental milestones
nurturing environment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
ask 1 -Informal One of your friends has asked you to be a partner in his new business. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Give your opinion of your friend's business idea Tell him whether or not you have decided to accept the offer Explain your reasons for this decision Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Mark,
I hope you’re doing well! I wanted to express my gratitude for offering me the chance to join your new business. It’s truly an honour that you considered me as a partner, and I’m genuinely excited about embarking on this journey with you.
<4
band
In spite of the advances made in the sphere of agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
In today's century there are some advnces made in agriculture. People have learned to grow more foodstuffs faster than ever. But despite the progress in agriculture, numerous people worldwide continue to experience hunger.
6
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You recently made a journey by train. When you got on the train, you realised you had left a bag on the platform. Write a letter to the station manager. In your letter: • give details of where and when you left the bag • describe the bag and its contents • suggest how you could get the bag back Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
I am writing to you regarding a bag I accidentally left on the platform during a recent train ride. I very much hope that you can help me find it.
8
band
Most school offer some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical educational classes be required or optional?
There is no gainsaying the fact that health is substantial in everyone’s life. Owing to this schools have included physical education in their curriculum. While this addition of a new subject has ameliorating benefits, I believe it should be kept as an optional subject.
5
band
Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate about whether government should prioritize educational funding or invest more heavily in recreational activities for young people. While I agree that leisure activities play an essential role in development of the youth, I firmly believe that education should remain the top priority for government spending. In this essay, I will elaborate on why education is crucial while acknowledging the benefits of free-time activities.

Once children start to go to school, schools influence them on their intellectual and social developments more than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In spite of the advances made in the sphere of agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Most school offer some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical educational classes be required or optional?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?