IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed

The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed
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The given table illustrates the money allocation of
police
Use synonyms
 in an English area
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts demonstrate the origin and how it was allocated
to
Change preposition
apply
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in two specific years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2017 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
police
Use synonyms
investment
Use synonyms
 experienced an increase in all sources.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the budget for technological purposes saw an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for infrastructure and transport, except for salaries, which remained unchanged. Taking an initial look at the table, there was a rise in budget allocation. For
investment
Use synonyms
 in the national government, the
police
Use synonyms
 budget allocated for
this
Linking Words
 purpose slightly increased from 175,5m in 2017 to 177,8m in the next year. The same pattern was seen with regard to the
police
Use synonyms
investment
Use synonyms
 in local taxes and other purposes from 91,2m to 102,3m and 38m to 38,5m, respectively. Turning toward the remaining pie charts, it is evident that 75% of the
police
Use synonyms
 source was spent on infrastructure and transport in 2017, which
then
Linking Words
 dropped to 69% in 2018.
However
Linking Words
, the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
police
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 spent on technology doubled during
this
Linking Words
 period, from 8% to 14&.
Finally
Linking Words
, Salaries accounted for 17% of
police
Use synonyms
investment
Use synonyms
, remaining constant in both 2017 and 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, investment, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Budget allocation
  • Revenue sources
  • National Government funding
  • Local taxes
  • Expenditure distribution
  • Salaries and wages
  • Technological investments
  • Facilities and infrastructure
  • Operational costs
  • Financial resources
  • Policing activities
  • Financial support
  • Percentage contribution
  • Human resources in policing
  • Technological advancement
  • Modern policing
  • Infrastructure needs
  • Emerging policing areas
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