Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people pf different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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Some individuals believe that
music
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is a wonderful
way
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to bring
poeple
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people
from different cultures and backgrounds closer to
eachother
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each other
. I think that
music
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is a wonderful
way
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to communicate without language and should be taught in school as an emotional outlet for
students
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.
Music
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is a beautiful
way
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to communicate with different individuals.
For example
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, You can walk up to random people and ask them for their
favourate
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favourite
music
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genre or their
preffered
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preferred
band and know a lot about their personality, likes and dislikes just from their answer alone. I see that
music
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is a universal language since humans are talented in
convaying
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conveying
their emotions and ideas into artistic outlets that can be translated through their hearts alone regardless of using words and lyrics. Teaching
students
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the ability to express themselves through notes and chords is a fantastic
way
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to provide creative outlets for them. A lot of schools in America and Japan are obligated to create bands and provide
music
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classes for their young
students
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.
Also
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, with the constant stress of studying and doing homework,
students
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carry
alot
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a lot
of emotional baggage that can lead to a decline in performance and grades. They need a
way
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to express their feelings and creativity to have a healthy mental capacity
and
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apply
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create new relationships with people who have the same
interest
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interests
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as them and
to
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apply
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increase their educational talents. I see that
music
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is a gift to the world that was provided to communicate different ideas, cultures, emotions and morals. Having the ability to express Yourself is something that all people should be able to do, it gives a feeling of
content
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contentment
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and stability. Teaching these skills to
student
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students
show examples
is something that all educational facilities should be able to provide.
Submitted by miralaltalhi11707 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas progress logically. Consider adding linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and diverse examples. For instance, discuss specific instances where music has bridged cultural or age gaps, possibly refer to famous events or movements.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully expanded. For example, elaborate more on how schools in different cultures use music, perhaps contrasting methods and effects.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion, making it easy for readers to understand your perspective from the outset.
task response
You effectively highlight the role of music as a universal language, which strengthens your argument.
task response
The connection between music education and emotional expression is well-established, providing a solid basis for your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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