Some believe that young people should be required to attend full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Certain individuals think that youngsters should be required to attend full-time education until they
18
Add a missing verb
are 18
years
old. From my perspective, I mostly agree with Use synonyms
this
view.
On the one hand, I think the purpose of Linking Words
this
statement is good but Linking Words
lots
of families can'Use synonyms
t
afford it. The reason for Use synonyms
this
is because in many Linking Words
cural
areas, where residents are really poor and they don'Correct your spelling
rural
t
have Use synonyms
enough-financial
ability to spend on their Correct your spelling
enough financial
children's
. education. Change noun form
children
For example
, Linking Words
many
villages in Vietnam, Change preposition
in many
lots
of Families really want their children can go to Use synonyms
school
but they don'Use synonyms
t
have any budget for it. Use synonyms
Thus
, I think. every teenagers all want to go to Linking Words
school
but in many Use synonyms
situation
, they can'Change to a plural noun
situations
t
choose their future
Use synonyms
However
, young age should attend Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
school
. until they graduate because Use synonyms
school
give them. comprehensive Use synonyms
self development
. Not just only knowledge, schools Add a hyphen
self-development
also
provide them Linking Words
Use synonyms
lots
of social. skills. Change preposition
with lots
For instance
, we can understand how to cooperate and communicate with others. Linking Words
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
Study
can help us have a better Wrong verb form
Studying
life
and a Use synonyms
brightly
future.
Replace the word
brighter
Furthermore
, study till 18 Linking Words
years
Use synonyms
old-the
age that people are Correct your spelling
old
much
mature Fix the agreement mistake
apply
to
live Rephrase
enough to
our
own Correct pronoun usage
their
live
and have Replace the word
lives
ability
to self-protect. Change the article
the ability
Go
throw 12 Wrong verb form
Going
years
of study, teenagers can learn a lot and they can prepare themselves Use synonyms
enough
knowledge and experience to keep them Change preposition
with enough
save
in many cases. Replace the word
safe
For example
, in China 3 Linking Words
years
ago there was a boy who luckily Use synonyms
save
his Wrong verb form
saved
life
when the electronic system in his house. has trouble, Use synonyms
this
is because he had learnt at Linking Words
school
and Use synonyms
understand
that situation. Knowledge at Correct subject-verb agreement
understands
school
is essential and can save our Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
in some specific cases.
In conclusion, I think youngsters should go to Fix the agreement mistake
lives
schoot
until they graduate, so they can have a better Correct your spelling
school
life
and learn how to protect themselves. Sadly, in many areas, Use synonyms
lots
of students can'Use synonyms
t
go to Use synonyms
school
.Use synonyms
Submitted by linh.le0995 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the issue and addresses the given prompt effectively. However, ensuring a more balanced discussion by including counterarguments could strengthen the task response. Support the points with a wider range of specific and relevant examples to enhance credibility.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showing a logical progression of ideas. However, it could benefit from clearer links between ideas and fewer abrupt transitions to enhance flow and coherence. For example, better transition phrases could be used to connect ideas more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and reinforces the essay's position, providing a strong ending.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the main position taken, which is a good start for setting the context of the response.