Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In recent years,

increased

Correct article usage

an increased

show examples

number of

people

Use synonyms

with health diseases are trying

alternative

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medicine

Use synonyms

and treatments

instead

Linking Words

of modern

medicine

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and visiting their

doctors

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hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

This

Linking Words

situation causes a problem which is untrusting

doctors

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and modern

medicine

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coming with

technology

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This

Linking Words

essay will show the positive and negative

ways

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. Nowadays, modern

medicine

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improved itself by

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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affected in many

ways

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like education and

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as a

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result

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apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the quality of

doctors

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and treatments just became its best shape.

For example

Linking Words

, when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

citizens go to a hospital for any sickness there

are

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show examples

many

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much

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high-tech

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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and

best

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the best

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cures waiting for them that

prepared

Wrong verb form

prepare

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for

Correct pronoun usage

them for

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various types of health problems.

Rephrase

Thus

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that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should not ignore modern

medicine

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Correct word choice

and by

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development of

technology

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. Somehow, there are a growing number of

people

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that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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count on

alternative

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medicine

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than

Rephrase

rather than

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modern

ways

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. Because

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apply

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they grew up with these traditional

ways

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and they still want to rely on that.

Hence

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these kind

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this kind

these kinds

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person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

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doesn’t

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don’t

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want to use modern

ways

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and try to ignore them,

On the other hand

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, they can not reach

doctors

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or hospitals in some situations.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they have to make their first treatment in some way until go to a hospital, so when they are in that position they need to be fast and it leads them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

alternative

Use synonyms

medicines. In conclusion,

technology

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developed itself in

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

way so these

people

Use synonyms

with health problems should not ignore

this

Linking Words

and yes they can still keep

use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

alternative

Use synonyms

medicines in their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

Submitted by Bartu on Wed Jan 01 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly define your stance on whether you believe this trend of using alternative medicine is positive or negative in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer transitions between points to ensure a seamless flow of ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The essay provides a generally clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

You mention both modern technology and traditional methods, covering both sides of the argument briefly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

People are against the legalization of euthanasia while other people support it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Writing 9 The rise in crime rate in many countries What are the courses? What are the solutions?

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Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?