Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

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In recent years,
increased
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an increased
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number of
people
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with health diseases are trying
alternative
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medicine
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and treatments
instead
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of modern
medicine
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and visiting their
doctors
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in
hospital
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hospitals
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.
This
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situation causes a problem which is untrusting
doctors
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and modern
medicine
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coming with
technology
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.
This
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essay will show the positive and negative
ways
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. Nowadays, modern
medicine
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improved itself by
development
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the development
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of
technology
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.
By
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This
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this
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situation,
it
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apply
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affected in many
ways
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like education and
a
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as a
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result
of
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apply
show examples
that
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apply
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the quality of
doctors
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and treatments just became its best shape.
For example
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, when
the
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apply
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citizens go to a hospital for any sickness there
are
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is
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so
many
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much
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high-tech
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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and
best
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the best
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cures waiting for them that
prepared
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prepare
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for
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them for
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various types of health problems.
So
Rephrase
Thus
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that
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apply
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,
people
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should not ignore modern
medicine
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by
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and by
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development of
technology
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. Somehow, there are a growing number of
people
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that
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who
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count on
alternative
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medicine
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than
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rather than
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modern
ways
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. Because
,
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apply
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they grew up with these traditional
ways
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and they still want to rely on that.
Hence
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,
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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doesn’t
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don’t
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want to use modern
ways
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and try to ignore them,
On the other hand
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, they can not reach
doctors
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or hospitals in some situations.
Consequently
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, they have to make their first treatment in some way until go to a hospital, so when they are in that position they need to be fast and it leads them to
the
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apply
show examples
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines. In conclusion,
technology
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developed itself in
better
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a better
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way so these
people
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with health problems should not ignore
this
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and yes they can still keep
use
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using
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the
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apply
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alternative
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medicines in their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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.
Submitted by Bartu on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your stance on whether you believe this trend of using alternative medicine is positive or negative in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between points to ensure a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a generally clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You mention both modern technology and traditional methods, covering both sides of the argument briefly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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