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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #island #construction #tourist #facilities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two maps
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provided below, give information about the status of an island before and after the construction of some
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were happened number of changes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the island which were mainly
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
west
Correct article usage
the west
show examples
side
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they built
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lots of houses
such
Linking Words
 as accommodations and some
facilities
Use synonyms
 to provide services for tourists.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
common
Add an article
the common
a common
show examples
 thing is none of the trees
cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
show examples
 down for these constructions.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
west
Add an article
the west
show examples
side
Use synonyms
, the beach
turned
Verb problem
became
show examples
 available to swim and they added
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 footpath to easily reach there from accommodations. As I mentioned before, they constructed many houses that
use
Wrong verb form
are used
show examples
 for staying next to the new restaurant and reception
facilities
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these
facilities
Use synonyms
surrounded
Add a missing verb
are surrounded
show examples
 by new roads for vehicles to make better
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 to
pier
Correct article usage
the pier
show examples
 and accommodations.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
east
Add an article
the east
show examples
side
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 constructed a new
faschinating
Correct your spelling
fascinating
 pier for sails and more sea events.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 built
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
show examples
 houses.
However
Linking Words
, beyond that place, they did not make any changes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that
side
Use synonyms
 of the island.
Submitted by Bartu on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, moreover".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words facilities, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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