Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The majority of people believe that watching a live
performance
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in a
gallery
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is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV at home. I completely agree with
this
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viewpoint because watching live performances is more thrilling and exciting because the
audience
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can share their excitement with others, and it
also
Linking Words
provides a real-life
experience
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of watching matches. If the
audience
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watch
Change the verb form
watches
show examples
live
Add an article
a live
show examples
performance
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in a
gallery
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, they can have the opportunity to become thrilled and excited
while
Linking Words
enjoying the
game
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. Watching any
game
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or sport live in a
gallery
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with other audiences allows them to share their experiences, thrills and enjoyment with others, which provides amusement to them.
This
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sort of
experience
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lasts for a long time in the minds of the
audience
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because they can consider them as the participants of the
game
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.
For example
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, the majority of people in Australia prefer to watch World Cup Football in the
gallery
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only because they can participate in the excitement and thrills in the
gallery
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with other
audience
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.
Moreover
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, when the
audience
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watch
Change the verb form
watches
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
live
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performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
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they can have real-life
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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of watching
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Add an article
the performance
a performance
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performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
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.
This
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type of
experience
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is vivid, realistic and clear because it just happens in front of the eyes of the
audience
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. These audiences believe that
thay
Correct your spelling
they
are
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contributors to the games.
For instance
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, many audiences of the World Cup Football in 2023 expressed that enjoying
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game
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
in the
gallery
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is more long-lasting than enjoying
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
show examples
television at home because they can imagine themselves as contributors to the
game
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. In conclusion, I personally agree with the statement that watching games live is more enjoyable than watching games on television because it provides the
audience
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with real-life
experience
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and allows them to obtain thrills and excitement.

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task response
Consider providing more diverse examples beyond World Cup Football to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Try varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow and keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a logical progression of ideas.
task response
The introduction clearly states your position, and you have maintained it throughout.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs for each main idea.
task response
You have used specific and relevant examples to support your agreement with the statement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performance
  • unique and energetic
  • sense of community
  • screen
  • editing
  • post-production
  • authentic experience
  • convenience
  • visibility
  • real-time commentary
  • expert analysis
  • understanding and appreciation
  • prohibitive
  • accessible option
  • wider audiences
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