IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do? Or do you feel children have enough education at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is why
people
Use synonyms
 continue to
smoking
Change the verb
smoke
show examples
,knowing how harmful it is .There are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
smokes
Change the verb form
smoke
show examples
 and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will consider them . At first ,
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of the major reasons is addiction .Nicotine is the main constituent component of a cigarette cause addiction among humans .
Second
Add an article
A second
The second
show examples
 no less important factor is stress .
People
Use synonyms
 found smoking
such
Linking Words
 as relaxing action in stressful situations. To reduce smoking in society, several strategies can be employed.
First,
Linking Words
increasing public awareness about the health risks of smoking can help prevent young
people
Use synonyms
 from starting. Governments can
also
Linking Words
 raise taxes on cigarettes, making them more expensive and less accessible, especially to teenagers.Banning smoking in public places has been shown to reduce smoking rates as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, offering better support for those trying to quit,
such
Linking Words
 as
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 and smoking cessation programs, is essential in helping smokers kick the habit. In conclusion, smoking continues because it is addictive, and social factors encourage it. To reduce smoking, we need to focus on educating
people
Use synonyms
, making cigarettes more expensive, and offering support to those who want to quit. These steps can help lower smoking rates and improve public health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your main opinion on the topic to enhance the clarity of your response.
task achievement
In your paragraphs, try to develop your main points further with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by clearly linking your ideas and ensuring that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and punctuation. These can hinder the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You clearly outline the factors contributing to smoking, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and offers a way forward regarding smoking reduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reinforce learning
  • personalized attention
  • student-to-teacher ratios
  • comprehensive coverage
  • academic and non-academic subjects
  • well-rounded development
  • address specific weaknesses
  • grade improvement
  • performance in exams
  • leisure time
  • burnout
  • educational opportunities
  • socio-economic disparity
  • over-scheduling
  • balanced approach
  • after-school programs
  • weekend tutoring
  • additional practice
  • constructive criticism
  • holistic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: