in spite of the advantages made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. why id this the case? what can be done about this problem?
Nowadays, lots of people are suffering from not
recieving
enough Correct your spelling
receiving
food
worldwide. Use synonyms
However
, it seems that the Linking Words
agricultrual
advancements did not help to reduce Correct your spelling
agricultural
this
number. In Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will look at reasons and propose solutions.
First of all, the big problem seems to be the high price of Change the capitalization
I
food
. Use synonyms
High
cost of Correct article usage
The high
food
means that in some poor countries, Use synonyms
valnurable
citizens tend to have difficulty Correct your spelling
vulnerable
to prepare
their Change the verb form
preparing
meal
. Fix the agreement mistake
meals
For instance
, Linking Words
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
years
ago some Change preposition
of years
of
South African countries were struggling with Change preposition
apply
this
Linking Words
issue
and Use synonyms
unfurtunately
, some of them still are. Correct your spelling
unfortunately
As a consequence
, Linking Words
this
situation could Linking Words
cuase
to diseases related to Correct your spelling
cause
lake
of Add an article
the lake
food
too. In Use synonyms
such
times, The steps that should be taken to deal with Linking Words
this
problem Linking Words
is
often Correct subject-verb agreement
are
leaded
by big organizations Correct your spelling
led
such
as Linking Words
UNISEF
, which has Correct your spelling
UNICEF
this
duty Linking Words
globaly
.
The second Correct your spelling
globally
issue
Use synonyms
,
may be the poor cultivation and even soil. In Remove the comma
apply
the
other words, some countries do not have a suitable soil for growing some crops or so on. Correct article usage
apply
This
could affect the Linking Words
farmers
life Change to a genitive case
farmer's
farmers'
as well as
the people Linking Words
how
live there too. To tackle Correct word choice
who
this
Linking Words
issue
, Use synonyms
government
should invest money in boosting their soil potential or at least importing some essential crops.
Add an article
the government
Finally
, some natural Linking Words
phenomenon
could be Fix the agreement mistake
phenomena
reason
for Add an article
the reason
a reason
this
. Speaking generally, disasters Linking Words
such
as through or some Linking Words
crops
diseases destroy the farming products, which Change the noun form
crop
result
in Correct subject-verb agreement
results
the
Correct article usage
a
lake
of Correct your spelling
lack
food
. Use synonyms
Counsequently
, the whole country will face a high rate of hunger. To solve Correct your spelling
Consequently
such
problems government should prepare its Linking Words
frastructures
like Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
depoing
some Correct your spelling
doing
deposing
food
, and Use synonyms
also
predicting them to be ready to pass them with less damage.
Linking Words
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
there Linking Words
have
been some growth in cultivating methods, hunger is still a serious Change the verb form
has
issue
Use synonyms
globaly
. In my opinion, Some other steps are there that should be taken by the government, Correct your spelling
globally
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
this
problem will never be removed.Linking Words
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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Logical Structure
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Introduction and Conclusion
Make the introduction more captivating and ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points more effectively.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Some ideas could be explained in more detail. Ensure each point is fully developed before moving on to the next.
Complete Response
You addressed both parts of the task by discussing the reasons for hunger despite agricultural advancements and offering solutions.
Relevant Specific Examples
You provided relevant examples, such as the situation in some South African countries, which strengthened your arguments.
Task Achievement
You maintain a clear focus on the topic throughout the essay, ensuring your ideas were relevant and on point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example