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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement؟

#mass #communication #transport #societies #phenomenon #globalization #people #fear #loss #identity #statement؟
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Since entering the age of technology, mass communication and transport
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been dramatically changed. Nowadays,
international
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an international
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 touch
easier
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is easier
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 than before
therefore
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, individuals
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
from
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apply
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each other.
This
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 situation is called
globalization
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 in the modern world. Some people say that
globalization
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 will lead to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of cultural identity. I only agree to some
extend
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extent
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to
Change preposition
with
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this
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 view and the reason for
this
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 will be explained in the following essay.
Firstly
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, humanity
learn
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learns
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 the whole cultures online because
of
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apply
show examples
they possess
high level
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high-level
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 technology
such
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 as
,
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apply
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smart phone
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smartphones
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, artificial
intelligance
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intelligence
, social media etc.
In addition
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 to technology, easy and rapid transport between
countries
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ensure
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ensures
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 people create a common culture regardless of their own location.
Although
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 some
societies
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 are not successful in
this
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 new order
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however
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, however
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, they raise their new generation
according to
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 these common norms.
Furthermore
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, these distinctions between adults and
teneegars
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teenagers
 lead to disagreements and some social problems.
On the other hand
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,
globalization
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cause
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causes
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 individuals' same thinking and
thus
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, developed
countries
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 with hegemony dominate other
countries
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 more easily
hence
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, some
countries
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 may face to loss of
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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culture identify
Replace the word
cultural identity
show examples
 and traditions but,
this
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 is a process and does not happen immediately.
Societies
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 do not lose their identities for a single reason.
Globalization
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 is one cause
however
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, in my opinion, the loss of
societies
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' identities cannot be the only factor since apart from genocide and war, it takes a long time for a society to lose its identity.
To sum up
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,
although
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 there are some effects of
globalization
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies
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 it is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
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 factor
losing
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in losing
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identify
Replace the word
identity
show examples
 of a community. Nations gain their own identities and traditions after many years so, situations
such
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 as
globalization
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 cannot achieve their goals immediately, and it may even make some
societies
Use synonyms
 more closed off.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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