IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

modern lifestyle have led to an increase in stress levels among people. what are the causes and effects of this issue

#lifestyle #stress #levels #people #effects
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In our contemporary world, stress has become a major issue worldwide, affecting individuals and communities in many ways.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons related to
this
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 issue and offer some solutions to address it.
To begin
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 with, there are many causes behind the anxiety. One major reason is working long hours.
This
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 means workers work long periods of time without any days off, harming both mental and physical health. Many studies have shown that
people
Use synonyms
 who consume too much fast food are more likely to struggle with anxiety.
In addition
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,
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
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 environment has significantly impacted
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 mental health. To illustrate, many
people
Use synonyms
 who live in polluted
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
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of
Change preposition
from
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 anxiety
due to
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 overcrowded and footprint emissions. To solve these issues, many steps can be taken by the governments. Administrators should reduce work hours to avoid
employees
Change the noun form
employee
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 burnout.
Specialist
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Specialists
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 ought to raise public awareness about the
necessary
Replace the word
necessity
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 of visiting a psychiatrist if it is needed.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should set taxes
in
Change preposition
on
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 fast food products and support organic food companies to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to consume healthy products. Councils should build
may
Correct your spelling
many
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sport
Wrong verb form
sports
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 facilities to
foster
Verb problem
encourage
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 residents doing
exercises
Wrong verb form
exercise
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. In terms of pollution,
government
Add an article
the government
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instead
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 of using fossil fuels
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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must use green energy
such
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 as solar energy and wind energy to guarantee the
overall
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 health
for
Change preposition
of
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 citizens. In conclusion, the main causes for
this
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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 are related to several reasons
such
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 as working long hours, bad eating habits, lacking
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
, and
pollution
Replace the word
polluted
show examples
 environments. If these are addressed by the government,
then
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 there is a big chance that the impact of
this
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 problem could be reduced
Submitted by bkalmutairi01 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, which will make your argument more compelling and grounded in real-world evidence.
task achievement
Clarify some vague sentences to enhance the clarity of your ideas. It will help in presenting a clear argument to the readers.
coherence cohesion
Use connectors and transitional phrases to improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction concisely sets up the topic and purpose of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights multiple causes and solutions related to stress in modern lifestyles, which directly addresses the task requirement.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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