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Band 6

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#unemployment #rates #japan #march #report #university #lecturer #information
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The line graph depicts the rates of
unem-ployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 in the US and
Japant
Correct your spelling
Japan
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
March
Use synonyms
 1993 until
March
Use synonyms
 1999, measured by
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of work
force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is significant to note that in the
beginining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 the unemployment rate in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 was the highest
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 was the lowest.
However
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, the priorities changed,
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 exceeded
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
. In
March
Use synonyms
 1993,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had the highest amount of unemployment rate at around 7%
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 was the lowest with 1.8%. In the next 2 years,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 decreased significantly to reach 5.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 increased rapidly in the first 4 years from 1.8% to nearly 3.3% and
then
Linking Words
 declined modestly. After
March
Use synonyms
 1995,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 minimally increased and
then
Linking Words
 had a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 fall from 5.6 to 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
March
Use synonyms
 1997 and it is expected
decreased
Change the verb form
to decrease
show examples
 steadily
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the period.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 modestly increased crucially in
March
Use synonyms
 1998
then
Linking Words
 exceeded the number of people who
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Submitted by pondzaxdxd55xdxd1 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words march, japan, usa with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "modestly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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