IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Learning English at school is often scene as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at the risk of dying out

#english #school #scene #language #risk
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Language
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 is a medium to communicate
to
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with
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 each other.
However
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, there
areguments
Correct your spelling
are arguments
 that
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English
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the English
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language
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 should be given priority at school
whereas
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, some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 opine that
local
Correct article usage
the local
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language
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 should be taught. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 both views will be discussed before introducing my opinion
why
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on why
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English
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 learning is more valuable.
To begin
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 with, local
language
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 should be
turned
Verb problem
taught
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 to a child and both school and home as our new generation
also
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 have right to know
these medium
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this medium
these media
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 of communication by having
regular
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a regular
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 conversation with the
people
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.
For example
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: in Nepal newari community
people
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 often speak in
Correct article usage
the newari
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newari
Change the capitalization
Newari
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language
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 at home so that the children will
also
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 be able to understand and reply
them
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to them
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 in
Correct article usage
the newari
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newari
Change the capitalization
Newari
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 tune.
Furthermore
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,
English
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 is very necessary to deal with the world population
as well as
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 to compete with each other. In
this
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 age of globalisation
people
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 need to communicate with one another person in the world so for
this
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 knowledge of
English
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 is most
for
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important for
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 every child.
For instance
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:
people
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 of one country need to buy materials from another country suffer the medium
communication
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of communication
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 it is necessary to learn and understand
English
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 as it is
universal
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a universal
the universal
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language
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.
Moreover
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, in
heavily
Correct article usage
a heavily
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 competitive world to get a better position in any job you need of fluent
English
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 speaker. In conclusion,
everytime
Replace the word
every time
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 should teach
local
Correct article usage
the local
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language
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 as it is pretty ping all lapse of school and if
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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 continuous very soon will extinct.
Aldo
Change noun form
Aldo's
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 local
language
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 has its own
significant
Replace the word
significance
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 it is very
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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important to learn
English
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 as to communicate with a girl
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 have a repetitive position in the job.
Submitted by anjubashyal39 on

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coherence and cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure. Ensure that your arguments and examples flow logically from one point to the next without abrupt changes.
task response
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Instead of just stating that English is necessary, delve into specific areas or examples where English has proven indispensable.
task response
Try to provide more varied and specific examples that are directly relevant to the point you're making to strengthen your argument.
introduction and conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well and provides a clear starting and ending point.
task response
The essay highlights a strong understanding of the importance of English in the global context, which aligns with the prompt and provides a clear viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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