After graduating from high school , some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

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There are youngsters who apply for a job after they have graduated from school and do not pursue their studies at a university.
This
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essay will discuss several advantages and disadvantages for
such
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teenagers and provide a logical conclusion. First of all, it gives a great opportunity for young people to start earning their own money, become independent from their parents and learn how to take care of themselves.
For example
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, by working as a waiter, a young man can purchase what he needs or likes.
Thus
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, labour will increase their responsibility. What is more, former students can save money, earn their first capital and start a business.
For instance
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, after working as an administrator for some time, a 25-year-old woman bought a computer which will be helpful for her personal business.
Hence
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, labour gives a lot of chances of becoming a prosperous businessman.
However
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, there are some disadvantages that should be taken into account.
Firstly
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, higher education broadens the horizons of students and provides a vast range of useful knowledge. As an example, medical universities teach their scholars how to cure diseases properly. Naturally, youngsters become specialists in their field.
Secondly
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, all the universities can help to think properly.
For instance
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, students are taught how to analyse the data, how to speak foreign languages and,
finally
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, to defend their point of view.
Consequently
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, higher scholarship provides an opportunity for young individuals to obtain crucial knowledge about the world. To summarize,
although
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this
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phenomenon has its pluses for teenagers, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages
hence
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it becomes obvious that the pursuit of education in a university can be much more beneficial for personal development than applying for a job.

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Task Response
Ensure a balance between discussing advantages and disadvantages; currently, more emphasis is on advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between points.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion and the conclusion summarizes the writer's stance clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical flow is maintained with clear paragraphing and progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
Examples provided add specificity and clarity to the points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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