IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is more important to plant more trees in open areas in towns and cities than to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #areas #towns #cities
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There is an opinion that planting more
trees
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 is more significant than building more housing. I personally completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 assertion since it helps the environment and citizens' mental health.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are two major reasons why planting more
trees
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important role.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
 lack
trees
Use synonyms
 in open spaces because many regions have become urbanisation. To explain, regions where
were
Correct pronoun usage
there were
show examples
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
 or countryside built a large number of housings and apartments, which is enough for individuals to live.
However
Linking Words
, there are not sufficient
trees
Use synonyms
 in open areas in towns
such
Linking Words
 as
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and
squard
Fix the agreement mistake
squards
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in towns lack spaces where they can feel nature, which helps them put things in
purpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 and relieve stress. On top of that, there are serious environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as air pollution
due to
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increasing number of vehicles that operate in towns. To explain, almost all vehicles as cars and buses in
cities
Use synonyms
 emit carbon dioxide, which
pollute
Change the verb form
pollutes
show examples
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 and
deteriorate
Correct subject-verb agreement
deteriorates
show examples
 global warming.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, If
people
Use synonyms
 plant a lot of
trees
Use synonyms
 in areas where
people
Use synonyms
 do not use, which is helpful to prevent environmental issues
to deteriorate
Change preposition
from deteriorating
show examples
 continuously
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
 emit
oxyen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
 and 흡수한다 carbon dioxide. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 planting
trees
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 has a positive effect on the environment and, It is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to relieve
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
 in parks when they feel small nature.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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task achievement
Include specific examples to strengthen your argument in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify the meaning of ambiguous phrases like '흡수한다 carbon dioxide' and ensure vocabulary is accurate.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better flow of ideas.
task achievement
Clear thesis statement in the introduction, stating agreement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that clearly state the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical paragraph structure with clear presentation of ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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