The qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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modern world, people are all competing for their businesses on the field. Some might say that in order to be successful, they need a college education.
While
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others, who might have made it without a degree would state
otherwise
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. In
this
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essay, I will explore both perspectives before continuing with my own opinion. To start with, I personally believe that education is very important. Going through college myself, I would say that it provides me with lots of benefits.
For instance
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, at University we were taught how to do things professionally.
Such
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as, how we speak to the professors, how we make our assignment reports, and so on. Most importantly, we can learn our knowledge of interest from the best.
However
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, I do think that academic institutions are not the only path to
success
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. There are so many things that can contribute to one's
success
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.
In particular
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, their personal development. Some might be pro at knowledge but do not have the mental capabilities to succeed. It takes lots of effort, & never-ending diligence.
Therefore
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, I do agree that in order to become the best in the field,
it
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one
show examples
does not necessarily learn from universities.
Whereas
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, the benefits from academics could
also
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be a major contribution to
success
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. In conclusion,
while
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there are valid points in both arguments, I personally believe that someone's
success
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is beyond academically.
Submitted by iigness05 on

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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples and evidence that clearly support your points. This will help to articulate a more comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay by making sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words or phrases to enhance this aspect.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the topic, which is a positive approach for task response.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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