In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.
Nowadays,most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
buy Use synonyms
things
which Use synonyms
is
going on trading. Change the verb form
are
However
, Linking Words
some
mature Change preposition
in some
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
people
Use synonyms
who
prefer buying Correct pronoun usage
apply
things
Use synonyms
according to
their needs.Linking Words
while
others purchase Linking Words
product
just for entertainment. Fix the agreement mistake
products
This
essay Linking Words
is belongs
to two Change the verb form
belongs
development
. I give my details on Fix the agreement mistake
developments
this
essay Linking Words
on
the below paragraphs.
Change preposition
in
Firstly
, Buying needy Linking Words
things
an essential for Use synonyms
human's
Lives. There are numerous Change noun form
human
people
who purchase Use synonyms
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
according to
their salaries. Linking Words
Due to
most of the peoples are depend on their salary. They Linking Words
buying
affordable Wrong verb form
buy
things
for them. Use synonyms
Thus
,they Linking Words
fulfill
their fundamental amenities. Change the spelling
fulfil
For example
, destitute Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
who
always prefer which goods they can affordCorrect pronoun usage
apply
that
.so,that's why they maintain their routine of life. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Fourthmore
, Nowadays, most Correct your spelling
Furthermore
of
Change preposition
apply
people
are buying Use synonyms
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
to
first to check Change preposition
apply
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
instead
of if Linking Words
this
product price Linking Words
other
place Correct article usage
the other
sale
Replace the word
sells
in
half price Change preposition
at
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
people
buy Use synonyms
things
which shopUse synonyms
.
Change preposition
for.
In other words
,Linking Words
second
prominent reason is,Add an article
the second
most
Correct word choice
that most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
buy Use synonyms
things
for their entertainment. They do not think about their Use synonyms
money
.Use synonyms
they
waste Capitalize word
They
money
Use synonyms
in
unusual Change preposition
on
things
. It is a negative development. Use synonyms
For instance
, recently my friend Linking Words
buying
3 Wrong verb form
bought
notebook
Change to a plural noun
notebooks
while
Linking Words
his
Correct pronoun usage
he
need
only 1 notebook. It is not good for them Replace the word
needed
due to
Linking Words
this
cause they invest Linking Words
money
in uncertain Use synonyms
things
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, buying fundamental needs Linking Words
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
positive
development for Add an article
a positive
people
. But if Use synonyms
people
buy Use synonyms
unusual
product it is not good.Add an article
an unusual
the unusual
Thus
,they waste Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
in
unusual Change preposition
on
things
Use synonyms
along with
not main their salary in Linking Words
right
way.Add an article
the right
Submitted by shital20802 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer structure, including a distinct introduction and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more fully. Add detailed explanations and examples that support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both aspects of the question by mentioning both positive and negative developments.
task achievement
Your example shows a personal touch which is a good way to make your arguments relatable.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.