IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the process of making cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Truc Linh

The diagram below shows the process of making cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Truc Linh
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the given diagram
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the process of producing
cheese
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
, making
cheese
Use synonyms
 is
man-made
Add an article
a man-made
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 linear process.It includes 10
step
Change to a plural noun
steps
show examples
, commencing with fresh
milk
Use synonyms
 and matured
cheese
Use synonyms
is
Change preposition
at is
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 end
production
Change preposition
of production
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 Concerning the first 4
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
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, they will select filter raw
milk
Use synonyms
 and fill
vat
Correct article usage
the vat
show examples
 to
pasteuriz
Correct your spelling
pasteurised
milk
Use synonyms
. After that would be rennet addition, which will coagulate the
milk
Use synonyms
. It
sit
Change the verb form
sits
show examples
 disturbed so it sets and makes.
Then
Linking Words
, followed by cutting and halving the curds and
wheys
Fix the agreement mistake
whey
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,which are
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
 cooked for 5
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
. Regarding the
last
Linking Words
 five
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
show examples
, the whey is drained out , the curd is milled and salted, fashion fresh
cheese
Use synonyms
.
Add a missing verb
is.
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Next,
Linking Words
the process when
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pouring into molds and pressing to
draining of
Wrong verb form
drain
show examples
 additional whey.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 step, ripening
cheese
Use synonyms
 and hooping to
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, milk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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