There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the important factor: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The factors that contribute to workforce motivation are widely debated.
While
some argue that
money
is the most important factor, others believe that non-monetary aspects are equally, if not more, significant.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and present my viewpoint. On the one hand, financial compensation is a key motivator for many workers. Adequate wages allow individuals to meet their basic needs and
fulfill
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fulfil
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personal desires,
such
as purchasing luxury items, supporting their families, and investing in their well-being.
As a result
, an increase in salary often leads to higher productivity, as employees are incentivized to perform better.
For instance
, a report from Vietnam estimated that more than 50% of workers prioritize earning
money
over other considerations,
such
as passion or personal interest.
On the other hand
,
while
money
is undoubtedly important, it is not the sole factor that motivates people to stay in the workforce. Job satisfaction,
for example
, plays a crucial role in long-term employee retention. When individuals have the opportunity to pursue careers aligned with their passions and abilities, they tend to work more effectively and produce higher-quality results.
Consequently
,
such
employees are more likely to advance to higher positions within their organizations. A survey conducted in 2022 supports
this
, showing that individuals who work in fields related to their hobbies and skills are more likely to attain management roles more quickly than those who do not. In conclusion,
although
financial incentives are an important factor in motivating employees, I believe that a balanced approach that
also
considers job satisfaction and personal passion is essential for long-term career success and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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. Workers who are motivated by both
money
and intrinsic factors are more likely to remain engaged and achieve sustained success in their careers.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples and detailed explanations to support main points effectively. However, ensure examples are not overly general. Specificity strengthens arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic and ultimately presents a well-rounded viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and clear organization help the reader follow the argument easily.
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