These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting events and festivals. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #money #tickets #events #festivals #development

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Nowadays,

sustain

Wrong verb form

sustained

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individuals invest a lot of assets on tickets to go to sporting

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

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and occasions.

Although

Linking Words

some might consider it negative;

however

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, I believe it to be extremely beneficial. Not only because of economic growth but

also

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because of incline in

jobs

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This

Linking Words

essay will explore how these mega advantages have the potential to overshadow any drawbacks.

Firstly

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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economic growth can be considered as the leading benefit of

this

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development

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. As, in those nations where

Correct article usage

apply

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sports matches are

helding

Correct your spelling

holding

and having much profit in the economic

development

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for example

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, the cricket matches are

helding

Correct your spelling

held

in Pakistan.

whereas

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,the audience and players came from different nations.

However

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,the impact on their economy is boosting because of inclination in

tourisms

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tourism

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Thus

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this

Linking Words

mega benefit I believe, has the potential to make

this

Linking Words

development

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a positive one.

Secondly

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, apart from boosting in economy,significant

opportunity

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opportunities

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for

jobs

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can

also

Linking Words

be another major merit.

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, if

their

Replace the word

there

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numerous

Correct word choice

a large

show examples

audience

Change preposition

show examples

events and occasions there will be more

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

security arrangements and

their

Replace the word

there

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will be more advertising corporations.

For instance

Linking Words

,in football matches, there

Change the verb form

are

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uncountable members

for watching

Change preposition

to watch

show examples

Change the article

show examples

event and numerous companies

sent

Wrong verb form

send

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there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

employees

for advertising

Change preposition

to advertise

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the

Change the word

their

show examples

products.

Also

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,there

Change the verb form

are

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many security guards to protect the individuals .

Hence

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, incline in

jobs

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can be labelled as the most significant advantage, giving

this

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development

Use synonyms

a positive. In conclusion, even though Topic might have some drawbacks too,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe that the benefits it brings in terms of economic boosts and

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

can make

this

Linking Words

development

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

positive one.

Submitted by nidarif855 on Fri Jan 03 2025

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clarity simplicity

Avoid over-complicating sentences, and try to formulate ideas more clearly and simply to aid understanding.

use of supporting evidence

The essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Try to include examples that precisely illustrate your arguments.

grammatical accuracy

Try to ensure consistent grammatical structures and avoid repetition of common grammatical errors.

introduction conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a clear beginning and ending.

dual perspective exploration

You have successfully mentioned both sides of the argument, showing depth in understanding the question.

supporting evidence attempt

The essay attempted to support points with examples, indicating an effort to back up claims.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting events and festivals. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that finding a job satisfaction is considered the most important thing for the young generation nowadays. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly pepole.