Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. Meditate on the causes and suggest possible solutions to this problem!

#criminals #crimes #prison

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A great number of

criminals

Use synonyms

commit an

offense

Change the spelling

offence

show examples

as soon as they are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

released from prison. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

there are few variants that cause

this

Linking Words

patterns

Fix the agreement mistake

pattern

show examples

. The aim of

this

Linking Words

essay is to list these causes and come

with

Change preposition

up with

show examples

possible solutions to the said issues. The main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

dilemma is

criminals

Use synonyms

are usually excluded from

society

Use synonyms

Criminals

Use synonyms

are felt

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

marginalized by other

people

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, they feel like they have hit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rock bottom

therefore

Linking Words

, they have nothing more to lose. As they say ‘he

that is

Linking Words

down need fear no fall’ .

Therefore

Linking Words

, they need to be reintegrated into the social arena. They should be given job opportunities.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are

criminals

Use synonyms

working in the Mersin courthouse. They make coffee for us, waiter

Change preposition

for

show examples

us and wash our cars which is a good thing because they have a chance to connect and merge with other

people

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

criminals

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are not tolerated in

society

Use synonyms

. The notion ,which

thought

Add a missing verb

is thought

show examples

by a lot of

people

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, that all

criminals

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are hazardous is a huge misconception. The conclusion by

this

Linking Words

idea,

other

Correct word choice

that other

show examples

people

Use synonyms

do not want to

occupy

Verb problem

show examples

in the same environment

with

Change preposition

show examples

them. The best option here is

criminals

Use synonyms

should be employed in workplaces and in

someworkplaces

Correct your spelling

some workplaces

hiring formal

criminals

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should be mandatory.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, other

people

Use synonyms

may realize that

criminals

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

humans as they are.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the criminal sanction is inadequate which means that sentences are not deterrent. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem governments should regulate the penal execution law and make villains endure their punishment.

For example

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

commit a crime

then

Linking Words

they should be punished and made to accept the consequences of their acts. These regulations might decrease the crimes which

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

by formal inmates. In light of these opinions,

this

Linking Words

problem can be solved by engaging

criminals

Use synonyms

within the

society

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

way

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

can merge with other

people

Use synonyms

. They need to have a job that includes communication with

people

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

arrengments

Correct your spelling

arrangements

on the enforcement law

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

essential at

this

Linking Words

point. If we arrange

this

Linking Words

, there will be a decrease in crime rates. And if we solve

this

Linking Words

problem, it might be beneficial both for

society

Use synonyms

and

criminals

Use synonyms

Submitted by ecz.dogaturkmen on Fri Jan 03 2025

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coherence cohesion

Work on refining the logical flow of your arguments. While the essay has an overall structure, consider using linking words and phrases more effectively between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your thoughts seamlessly.

task achievement

Improve precision in language, especially when explaining the causes. For example, clarify terms like 'criminal sanction is inadequate'. Perhaps specify what aspects make them inadequate.

task achievement

Clarify arguments around societal acceptance and reintegration of criminals. More comprehensively discuss how societal attitudes change and how these changes tangibly help reduce recidivism.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is clear and presents a focused approach to addressing both causes and solutions to the problem.

relevant specific examples

You offer specific examples, like the Mersin courthouse, to support your main points. This enhances the relevance of your argument.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the proposed solutions effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

370 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rehabilitation
Reintegrate
Social stigma
Recidivism
Criminal records
Ex-offender
Associations
Comprehensive
Workforce
Mentoring
Incentivize
Stigmatize
Subsidies
Legitimate

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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. Meditate on the causes and suggest possible solutions to this problem!

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?

The number of older people is increasing. Some people think that this will cause problems in their countries; others believe this group is important to society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

instead of requiring primary school students to do experiments themselves, schools should only alllow them to watch experiments demonstrated by teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?