Some people believe that it is very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #amount #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modern world monetary satisfaction has been ample discussed,

Linking Words

However

Add the comma(s)

However,

show examples

people

Change the verb form

are

show examples

still divided between earning a big salary or just enough for a

pleasad

Correct your spelling

pleasant

pleased

life,

this

Linking Words

essay agrees with the

last

Linking Words

view,

Nevertheless

Linking Words

will analyse both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

, provide some examples and

supportting

Correct your spelling

support

arguments. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, It is

undertandable

Correct your spelling

understandable

that some people feel the necessity to generate a bigger income to

be prepare

Change the verb form

be prepared

show examples

for any possible future impasse

sush

Correct your spelling

such

signess

Correct your spelling

sickness

signs

signees

tha

Correct your spelling

that

can generate

unespected

Correct your spelling

unexpected

expensive

bill

Fix the agreement mistake

bills

show examples

Although

Linking Words

, with the

porposse

Correct your spelling

purpose

of generating

this

Linking Words

bigger amount of money they

work

Use synonyms

longer hours or more than one job which by

it self

Correct your spelling

itself

show examples

this

Linking Words

action put in

geopardy

Correct your spelling

jeopardy

their health.

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay

belive

Verb problem

believes

show examples

that the

reasult

Correct your spelling

result

does not justify the means.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many citizens opt to

work

Use synonyms

just the

rigth

Correct your spelling

right

amount of time to give them a

satisfatory

Correct your spelling

satisfactory

way of

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

, like

for example

Linking Words

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

balance

work

Use synonyms

-social life,

Moreover

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research

reviled

Verb problem

revealed

show examples

that a couple that

work

Use synonyms

long hours is 90 time more propence to get a divorce. In conclusion, the happiness

Change preposition

show examples

posses

Wrong verb form

possessing

show examples

a considerable amount of money most of the time comes with

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

work

Use synonyms

longer hours

as a result

Linking Words

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health and social life

is pu

Verb problem

are

show examples

at risk.

Linking Words

contrast

Add a comma

contrast,

show examples

those that

work

Use synonyms

less are not

goint

Correct your spelling

going

to become

millioner

Correct your spelling

millionaire

but have just enough to have their own happiness.

Submitted by samy150211 on Fri Jan 03 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Make sure to proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical errors.

cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

examples

Add more specific examples to illustrate your points clearly.

task response

The essay presents both viewpoints and provides an opinion.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clear and related to the essay's topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

227 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
The first using nuclear weapon was in Japan by the United States where it killed many people. At the same time that incident mark the defeat of Japan in World War two. All over the world, nuclear weapons can be very dangerous to everyone and the number of weapons must be limited. On the other side, nuclear has an advantage which can become clean and cheaper energy. This essay will describe how nuclear is dangerous and has an advantage for humans.
7.5
band
For centuries, importan parts of education have remained such reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to added to the list. to what extent do you agree?
Computers were invented not so long time ago. Even one decade ago, we didn't use this technology as much as we use it today. Nowadays, computers play a massive role in our lives. Because of that, there are some people who think being able to use a computer, is required to be included in the other skills. We really use that piece of technology for every single thing. Even a smartphone that is in every modern person's pocket, is a small computer. We consume content, set an alarm to wake up, calculate and last but not least, we study by using computers. It is a replacement for so many things. It makes our lives way more easier.
7
band
Nowadays, many people spend more and more time going to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others believe that it has some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is widely believed that lots of citizens spend time working or studying with a bunch of tasks, and it has sparked heated controversies that many people claim it has a detrimental impact on our daily lives. I totally disagree with that viewpoint for some reasons below.
6
band
The illustration below shows the process of tying a bow tie. Write a report explaining to a university lecturer how to tie his bow tie.
The diagram illustrates how to knot a bow tie in eight stages.
7.5
band
In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Previously, many folks lived in rural areas where everyone knew each other. Recently, they tend to live in metropolitan areas where they only know some people. Maintaining relations between each other and diminishing individual privacy respectively become the advantages and disadvantages of living in a private community, here are some of my outlines.

Some people believe that it is very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

For centuries, importan parts of education have remained such reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to added to the list. to what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, many people spend more and more time going to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others believe that it has some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The illustration below shows the process of tying a bow tie. Write a report explaining to a university lecturer how to tie his bow tie.

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?