IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey, and the stages in the productin of honey.

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey, and the stages in the productin of honey.
The diagrams
depicture
Verb problem
depict
show examples
 how
honey
Use synonyms
 is made by
Use synonyms
bee
Fix the agreement mistake
bees
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 the process of
honey
Use synonyms
 production is mentioned. There are 5
seprate
Correct your spelling
separate
 stages to making
honey
Use synonyms
 in the
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 factory. Initiates with
removalling
Correct your spelling
removing
 the honeycomb and ending with selling. The process of making
honey
Use synonyms
 has 6 steps. In the first stage, it is obvious that we necessarily need the queen
bee
Use synonyms
. Honeycomb is the name of the place
Change preposition
in wich
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 queen
bee
Use synonyms
 spreads her eggs. Eggs become
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
larva
Fix the agreement mistake
larvae
show examples
 after spending three days. It takes a week
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
larva
Correct article usage
the larva
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 to get fully mature. In the
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
 phase,
Use synonyms
bee
Correct article usage
the bee
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 leaves the hive in order to
collecting
Change the verb
collect
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 nectar from flowers. The final step
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is leaving nectar to make
honey
Use synonyms
. We should pass 5 steps to make synthetic
honey
Use synonyms
 in the factory. First of all,
honeycomb
Correct article usage
the honeycomb
show examples
 is removed from
hive
Add an article
the hive
show examples
 by
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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 machine in order to acheaving
honey
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
boiling and filtering is begun. Qualified
honey
Use synonyms
 is ready to
took
Change the verb
take
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 place in jars. At
this
Linking Words
 point, the final product is emerged and it would be available in the markets

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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