IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Good facilities can be found in cities, but not in the countryside. Therefore, new doctors and teachers should be sent to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that good
facilities
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 only can be found in urban
areas
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 not in rural
areas
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
doctors
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 and
teachers
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 who are new should be sent to
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countryside
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the countryside
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. I completely disagree with
this
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 statement because new
doctors
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 and
teachers
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 have the
right
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 to
work
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 where they want, and
services
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 should not be restricted to one area rather should be distributed equally everywhere. Each professional has the
right
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 to choose where they will serve or not. It should not be considered whether a professional is new or experienced.
Doctors
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 and
teachers
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 dedicate a lot of hard
work
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, time and effort to complete their studies, and
therefore
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, they have the
right
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 to choose their workplaces when they
will
Verb problem
apply
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start working. The
government
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 should not decide where they should
work
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 or not.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, many
doctors
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 do not want to move to
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countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 at the very beginning of their career, and the
governement
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government
 never forces them to do so because
doctors
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 have the
right
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 to choose their workplaces.
Services
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 should not be restricted to
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countryside
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the countryside
show examples
 and
both
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cities
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 and the
countryside
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 should have equal access to
services
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. It is the responsibility of the
government
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 to ensure modern
facilities
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 in
both
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 urban and rural
areas
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. If professionals in the early stages of their professional lives move from
cities
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 to
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countryside
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the countryside
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,
cities
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 will encounter
shortage
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a shortage
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 of modern educational and healthcare
facilities
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 one day. To ensure equal access to
services
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 for the public, the
government
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 should not do so.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2019, the state
government
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 of Gujrat, India, equally distributed all
teachers
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 in
both
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 urban and rural
areas
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, which ensured advanced educational
facilities
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 for
both
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 inhabitants of urban and rural
areas
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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the viewpoint that new professionals should move to
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countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 from
cities
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 because
cities
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 already have modern
facilities
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. Professionals have the
right
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 to choose where they will
work
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, and the
government
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 should ensure equal
services
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 in
both
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cities
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 and
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countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but ensure each paragraph logically flows to the next. Connecting ideas more fluidly can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and well-supported. Consider providing a bit more depth to some of the examples for stronger conviction.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly presenting and summarizing your position.
complete response
The essay provides a thorough response to the task, addressing all parts of the prompt.
relevant specific examples
You effectively used examples to support your arguments, making your essay convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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