Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind , such as reading and doing word puzzles . Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time . Dicuss two views and give your opinion .
In the current world, where it seems 24 hours
not
enough to accomplish all the tasks, getting Add a missing verb
are not
time
to spare freely seems like a dream to have. Even if leisure Use synonyms
time
is found, Use synonyms
people
argue on whether to spend it in relaxation of Use synonyms
mind
or to utilize that Use synonyms
time
by reading or anything that Use synonyms
develop
our brain. To some Change the verb form
develops
people
, free Use synonyms
times
should be utilized by doing Fix the agreement mistake
time
skill developing
activities, Add a hyphen
skill-developing
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
prioritizes
the importance of mental rest for sound health and Correct subject-verb agreement
prioritize
work
efficiency.
Use synonyms
According to
the view of Linking Words
earlier
group, free times are provided to feed the Add an article
an earlier
the earlier
mind
with the activities that the particular person loves to do, as it Use synonyms
help
individuals to keep their Change the verb form
helps
Use synonyms
mind
fresh and active. For Fix the agreement mistake
minds
eaxmple
, in recent times, many organizations Correct your spelling
example
are
Verb problem
have
facilitating
their employees with sports and entertainment Wrong verb form
facilitated
corner
within the office space. Fix the agreement mistake
corners
This
is becauseLinking Words
,
spending some Remove the comma
apply
time
in those corners Use synonyms
help
workers to minimize Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
theri
stress and get back to Correct your spelling
their
work
Use synonyms
with
full swing.
Oppositely, the Change preposition
in
later
group believes, Correct your spelling
latter
in
order to function properly Correct word choice
that in
to
Change preposition
in
out
daily Correct your spelling
our
life
, we need to keep our Fix the agreement mistake
lives
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
in
complete rest during our free Change preposition
at
time
. Use synonyms
Infact
there are studies in support of Correct your spelling
In fact
this
point of view that found Linking Words
people
who strictly maintain Use synonyms
a
leisure Correct article usage
apply
time
from their busy day, are most likely to achieve success early Use synonyms
compare
to those who Wrong verb form
compared
work
harder even in their free Use synonyms
time
.
For me, it is not a good way to draw a fine line between Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
two thoughts. It's becauseCorrect determiner usage
these
,
I believe that the utilization of one's free Remove the comma
apply
time
depends completely on the demands of body and Use synonyms
mind
. Like one may enjoy reading novels in their leisure Use synonyms
while
there are Linking Words
people
who enjoy sleeping.
To summarize, the choice of pastime activities has a significant impact Use synonyms
to
our Change preposition
on
mind
and Use synonyms
work
efficiency and Use synonyms
therefore
one should choose it effectively.Linking Words
Submitted by naharinzannathera on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to delve deeper into each viewpoint, providing more detailed arguments and examples to strengthen the essay's position.
task achievement
Ensure that each idea presented is clearly linked to the question and fully developed to achieve a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Work on logically structuring your paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly focus on one main idea and connect smoothly with the next.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to enhance the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay opens with a clear introduction and ends with a well-summarized conclusion, which provides a good frame for your discussion.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion by presenting both viewpoints on the issue, which strengthens your task response and shows critical thinking.
task achievement
You have used some examples to illustrate your points, which helps in enhancing the clarity of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.