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Band 6

The pie charts show the foreign languages that students learn at one University of London make relevant comparisons

The pie charts show the foreign languages that students learn at one University of London make relevant comparisons
The pie charts illustrate knowledge of foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 among students from one British university in 2000 and 2010 as a percentage. At the
poll
Add a comma
poll,
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 three
languages
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 were given as options. There are Spanish, French and German. In the same
order
Add a comma
order,
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 those
languages
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 took their place at the scale of popularity in 2000. After one decade the situation had changed insignificantly. Upon closer review, it can be observed that Spanish, as the most attractive second language to learn, had a slight difference between 10 years from 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 35
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. French in turn had a small decline. In 2000 15
percent
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 of students could speak French and English and in 2010 only 10
percent
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. Turning to German, it came through the time without any changes: 10
percent
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 in 2000 and in 2010.
Also
Linking Words
 as an opportunity to choose was
such
Linking Words
 a feature as understanding not only the
languages
Use synonyms
 mentioned above but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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, which has increased from 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 to a fifth of a hundred.
As well as
Linking Words
 speaking German, the knowledge of two other
languages
Use synonyms
 stayed the same
with
Change preposition
at
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 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for a decade. And
as well as
Linking Words
 French,
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
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 of
knowing
Verb problem
apply
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any other
languages
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has declined. But
in contrast
Linking Words
 with
French
Add a comma
French,
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 the decline was not small. For ten years the ability to speak no other
languages
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 doubled
down
Change preposition
apply
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from 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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