IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

urban environments are becoming unhealthy. Name possible causes and solutions

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Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are living in urban environments. Despite all possible advantages,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious drawbacks are taking place in
health
Use synonyms
 factors. Naturally, I agree with the statement, and so I am ready to share my opinion on
this
Linking Words
 matter. First of all, the main cause of pollution is a concerning growth rate of consumers, leading to
growth
Add an article
the growth
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 of manufactures which are harmful to ecology leading to ecological problems. Those problems result in
health
Use synonyms
 issues.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as a matter of fact,
people
Use synonyms
 living in urban
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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 don’t seem to be concerned about their
health
Use synonyms
, resulting in many diseases and even pandemics.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should make
people
Use synonyms
 aware of
such
Linking Words
 possibilities and convert industrial madness which takes place today to more eco-friendly types of production which do not pollute anything.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 themselves should be considering measures for them to keep their
health
Use synonyms
 in priority
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
regularly visit
health
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 specialists and doctors, and do sports regularly.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that environmental issues in cities play an important part in everyone’s lives. We should pay more attention to ourselves and what surrounds us.

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relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points about pollution and health issues in urban areas, which can strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your ideas are clearly explained throughout each paragraph. Sometimes the transition between ideas can be tightened for clarity.
complete response
Expand on the environmental issues mentioned by providing more detailed examples or statistics to underscore the severity of these issues.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear context for your essay and establishes your position on the topic effectively.
logical structure
Your essay follows a logical structure, moving from causes to solutions. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a strong closing to the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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