Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that thay find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #thay

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Since increased

competitive

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competitiveness

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in schools for success

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

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to a deep argument

Linking Words

therefore

Add the comma(s)

, therefore

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, two

differences

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different

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perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

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has been

Wrong verb form

have

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appeared. Some people say that students should

full

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fully

show examples

focus

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on all school

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

but, others people argue that they should

focus

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on courses that are interesting to them in order to be successful. In my opinion, teenagers should

work

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their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

all lessons

however

Linking Words

, they should pay more attention to the courses in which they are successful. On the one hand,

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

view

say

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says

show examples

that students should all

work

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subjects on the school

however

Linking Words

, sometimes they do not know how they should study for lessons or students cannot study all

subject

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subjects

show examples

at the same time.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, teenagers are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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confused which is

their

Rephrase

why their

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motivations decrease with time.

This

Linking Words

situation leads to stress, depression and anxiety

thus

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, they have the fear of being failed throughout their academic lives.

On the other hand

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second

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the second

show examples

perspective

argue

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argues

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that teenagers should

focus

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on the subject that they are good at or that

thay

Correct your spelling

they

find the most interesting. I somewhat agree with

this

Linking Words

view because, if the student focuses on the course he is interested in, probably she/he are going to

success

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succeed

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

that lesson

hence

Linking Words

, her/his motivation will increase,

that is

Linking Words

, she/he will

work

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harder

however

Linking Words

, just

focus

Use synonyms

on one lesson may cause other of lessons decrease and

this

Linking Words

decline

lead

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leads

show examples

to loss of motivation.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there are some disadvantages

both

Change preposition

on both

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sides, I support

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

view since

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

all subjects

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

only

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

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and tiring but

also

Linking Words

more likely to fail

also

Linking Words

, studying for all classes and being successful is not something everyone

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

do so, no matter how many disadvantages there are in focusing on a course, the feel of successful

are

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show examples

triggered and the source of motivation increases to

work

Use synonyms

more.

Submitted by duygulaleoglu on Sat Jan 04 2025

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score, focus on ordering your ideas logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develops it thoroughly. You could use topic sentences and transitional phrases to improve the clarity of your arguments.

task achievement

Expand on your examples and provide specific cases or studies to strengthen your arguments. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic and a more thorough analysis.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments.

task achievement

You effectively discuss both perspectives and express your opinion, addressing the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that thay find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. in many cases, the people being monitores are unaware that it is happening. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.