IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is widely believed that transportation is the main source of pollution. While some believe governments should address this, others believe this is the responsibility of individuals.Discuss both views and give your opinon.

A downright variance of view has been observed among the masses regarding the detrimental effects of transportation, which is harming habitat.A social segment of the society contends that
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 is responsible
to control
Change preposition
for controlling
show examples
 factors,which are polluting the environment,opponents,meanwhile, contend that it is the obligation of individuals to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.In
this
Linking Words
 essay ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will rationate both points of belief and proffer justification for my own viewpoint. Not endorsed by everyone,yet approved by individuals
that
Correct word choice
apply
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if regimes make or organise various awareness TV shows,
seminars
Correct word choice
and seminars
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 ,
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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educates
Correct subject-verb agreement
educate
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 folks about the detrimental effects of
carbon
Use synonyms
,produced by
their
Change the word
the
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 motors which they use.
Additionally
Linking Words
, authorities should ban
Add an article
the
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usage of
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
whose
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 emit
carbon
Use synonyms
 during weekends,
in contrast
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,they can provide local electric buses for local
transoprtation
Correct your spelling
transportation
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
According to
Linking Words
 the University of London,90 per cent of
carbon
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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emmitted
Correct your spelling
emitted
 by motor cars,as it is proved,the main reason behind the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 taint
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
. Disjunctive to
this
Linking Words
,the idea of depending on folks to control pollution acts as a more beneficial tool which is attested by
myraids
Correct your spelling
myriads
myriad
 of people.The fundamental element associated with
this
Linking Words
 mechanism,
if
Add a missing verb
is if
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 mortals prioritise urban transportation service over their own
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
,
moreover
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,they can use environment-friendly transit,
such
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 as bicycles,motorcycles and electric cars.To illustrate,
according to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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BBC News ,we can overcome global warming,
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
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 effect and acid rain,by
lessing
Correct your spelling
reducing
 the emission of
carbon
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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,by walking
on
Change preposition
apply
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short distances,they can
also
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 contribute to
overcome
Change the verb form
overcoming
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 the cause of pollution.
To conclude
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,both arguments carry their own reasoning,logic and pragmatism.Albeit,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
personal measures and observations seem advantageous in the long run
due to
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 their weighty,indispensable and fringe benefits.

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task achievement
Make sure your ideas are fully developed, especially when discussing the roles of government and individuals. Provide more detail and reasoning for each point.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that the arguments in your essay are organized with a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, followed by supporting evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
Take care to use transitions effectively between sentences and paragraphs to help your ideas flow more smoothly and naturally.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue, which is central to responding well to the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay attempts to use some specific examples, such as the University of London and BBC News, which demonstrate an attempt to support the points with evidence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • sustainability
  • regulation
  • subsidies
  • incentives
  • public transport
  • legislation
  • individual responsibility
  • infrastructure
  • economic impact
  • innovation
  • green technology
  • policy measures
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