Using animals to test the safety of cosmetics or drugs used for medical reasons is never acceptable. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

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Using
animals
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as a tester for cosmetics
productions
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production
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and drugs has been a vital topic of debate.
While
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some people would argue with
this
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approch
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approach
I strongly believe that
animals
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should not serve as a test model and
i
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I
show examples
will support my idea with
compling
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compelling
reasons. First of all, using
species
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of
animals
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to test the safety of
humans'
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humans
show examples
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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can not be considered as a moral and effective
methode
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method
methods
, leading to detrimental consequences.
Therefore
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, some rare
species
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of
animals
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might be at higher risk of extinction, so using them as a tester can contribute to
extinct
Correct word choice
the extinction of
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these
species
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.
Moreover
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,
animals
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have a right and they need to
protect
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be protected
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through dangerous situations,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
human
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humans
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should make an effort to protect them.
For instance
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, testing some drugs can result
it
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in
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harmful effects
such
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as blindness, so if an animal
loose
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loses
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their eyesights, they might be killed
easilly
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easily
by other
species
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.
As a result
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,
human
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humans
show examples
should try to preserve animal rights in order to protect them effectively.
On the other hand
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, it is essential for
animals
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to live in their habitat.
However
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, some specific
species
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of
animals
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are kept in zoos to be safe, a variety of
species
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are belonged
Change to the active voice
belong
have belonged
show examples
to
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
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and natural
environment
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environments
show examples
, so keeping them in
labrotories
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laboratories
can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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distruped
Correct your spelling
disrupted
disturbed
them. A prime
illustartion
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illustration
of
this
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is a mouse, that usually keeps in the
labrotory
Correct your spelling
laboratory
to use as a tester.
Although
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they help
scienticts
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scientists
toward accomplishment their research, many of them have
killed
Add a missing verb
been killed
show examples
during these experiments.
Thus
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,
this
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species
Use synonyms
of animal
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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to live in the
habitate
Correct your spelling
habitat
habitats
as well as
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other
species
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, using
animals
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to test the safety of drugs or
costemics
Correct your spelling
cosmetics
productions, can lead to harmful impacts. I strongly disagree with
this
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trend and believe that
animals
Use synonyms
not only have a right in order to be protected but
also
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need to live in their habitats.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are presented clearly and use linking words and phrases to show the connection between them. For example, "Furthermore," or "In addition," could help the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or expand on your main points to increase clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Revisit your introduction and conclusion to make sure they effectively encapsulate your main argument and provide a satisfying summary of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which frames your response well.
task achievement
Your main points about the moral implications of animal testing and the importance of animals living in their natural habitat are clear and relevant.
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