In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why this might be the case? Do you think this is positive or ngative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
era of modern technology, many people prefer to purchase their own
house
Use synonyms
rathen
Correct your spelling
rather
than leasing one in various provinces of the world.
According to
Linking Words
my perception,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
residence and
huge
Correct article usage
the huge
show examples
rate of monthly rent are the major factors of
this
Linking Words
scenario.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is the positive side for a family having
dream
Add an article
a dream
the dream
show examples
of
own
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
. Analyzing the given statement and explaining
further
Linking Words
, there are various elements
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
on real estate market
such
Linking Words
as population, inflation and industrialisation.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to buy a home and get
loan
Add an article
a loan
show examples
from
bank
Add an article
a bank
the bank
show examples
,
lease
Correct article usage
the lease
show examples
amount
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
paid by
customer
Add an article
the customer
show examples
to the
land lord
Correct your spelling
landlord
show examples
is almost equal to the
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
EMI so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
individuals are selecting
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
option.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
report
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
TOI, the number of people having their own
house
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
higher than others and
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
proposition
Correct article usage
a proposition
show examples
of more than 20%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, inflation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
growing rapidly in
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
world and houses are costlier day by day.
As a result
Linking Words
, people are showing that
own
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
a
house
Use synonyms
is the best investment for
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
as
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
will increase in future. The most favourable reason is that the time span of living on
rental
Correct article usage
a rental
show examples
basis is very limited and it has to change in several years,
therefore
Linking Words
it is very difficult for
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
to change home again and again. In conclusion, owning a
house
Use synonyms
is the best choice in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, not only high amount of rent is
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
peace of
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
is very important. We don't have to change our address of
resident
Replace the word
residence
show examples
again and again and our family lives very beautifully.
Submitted by patelrinkesh696 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While you have included several reasons why owning a home might be important, try to ensure that each point is supported with detailed examples or clear explanations to enhance understanding.
task achievement
Some ideas presented could be made clearer by avoiding repetition and ensuring each point is distinct from the others.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are clear and strengthen connections between sentences to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that are aligned with the main topic.
task achievement
You have made an effort to explain the significance of owning a home over renting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: