IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #summerise #features #comparisons #relevent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates the resources of
Add an article
the
show examples
police
budget
Use synonyms
, categorized into four groups, National government, Local taxes and other sources, in
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2017 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts show the distribution of
this
Linking Words
budget
Use synonyms
 among three sectors including, salaries, technology and building and transport, during these
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, at first
galance
Correct your spelling
glance
, it becomes apparent that the
Use synonyms
totall
Correct your spelling
total
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
 of
polic
Correct your spelling
police
budget
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 higher in 2018 than a year earlier.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the most significant
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 was dedicated to offices and staff salaries in both
years
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 coming from each
sources
Change to a singular noun
source
show examples
 were slightly lower in 2017,
Use synonyms
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 from other
soures
Correct your spelling
sources
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
has remained
show examples
 almost steady in both
years
Use synonyms
. in 2017,
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 coming from the national government was 175.5$, a negligible lower
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2018, at 177.8$.
Moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, local
texes
Correct your spelling
taxes
 in 2017 and 2018 were
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 91.2$ and 102.3$ ,respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, 75
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the totall
show examples
totall
Correct your spelling
total
budget
Use synonyms
dedicated
Add a missing verb
was dedicated
show examples
 to officers and staff salaries, in 2017,
then
Linking Words
, by a slight decrease, reaching 69
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the totall
show examples
totall
Correct your spelling
total
 in 2018. It is noticeable that the specific
budget
Use synonyms
 for
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 and transport sectors remained unchanged during these
years
Use synonyms
 at 17% of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the totall
show examples
totall
Correct your spelling
total
.
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
budget
Use synonyms
 toward technology was 8% of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the totall
show examples
totall
Correct your spelling
total
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost a twofold increase, reaching 14% of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the totall
show examples
totall
Correct your spelling
total
 in 2018.
Submitted by mahanz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, years, totall with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • funding sources
  • national government
  • local taxes
  • distribution
  • allocation
  • salaries
  • technology
  • infrastructure
  • workforce expenses
  • modernization
  • investment
  • fluctuation
  • financial planning
  • policy direction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: