IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, all cars,buses and trucks will be driver less.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driver #people #vehicles #passengers #driveless
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The prevalence of increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
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number of
Use synonyms
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in the future has been a vital topic of debate.
Although
Linking Words
 increasing in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
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 cars and public
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
vehicles
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 can cause some disadvantages, I strongly believe that the benefits of
this
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 approach
are outweigh
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outweigh
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 the drawbacks, which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
discusse
Correct your spelling
discuss
, supporting my viewpoint by
complling
Correct your spelling
compelling
 reasons. First of all,
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 without
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driver
Correct article usage
a driver
show examples
 can address some challenges, leading to creating a
sense
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 of isolation.
Although
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,
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apply
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 passengers take a taxi or bus to commute daily inherently, they sometimes need to make a conversation with
Use synonyms
driver
Add an article
the driver
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.
For instance
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, consider a young girl who wants to go
to
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apply
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shopping, if
through
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on
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 the way she suddenly notices that
forgetten
Correct your spelling
forgotten
 her wallet, she needs to talk to the
driver
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 and requests
for returning
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to return
show examples
 back.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 if she travels in a
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driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
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 taxi, she might
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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struggle to make an effective conversation.
Moreover
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, in-person communication not only helps passengers ask for a request easily
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 can provide a
sense
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 of convenience and
comfort
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, helping them to make a positive conversation with
Use synonyms
driver
Correct article usage
the driver
show examples
 in order to find an answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their demands.
On the other hand
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, travelling in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 can contribute to a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
relaxed
Replace the word
relaxation
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 and
comfort
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, so some people prefer travelling lonely in order to focus on their thoughts throughout the way.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
 some people who are
extrovert
Fix the agreement mistake
extroverts
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, tend to make a
cconservation
Correct your spelling
conservation
 with others, individuals who have
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 personalities often have a
tendacy
Correct your spelling
tendency
 to commute in a tranquil environment. A prime illustration of
this
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 is an
introvert
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introverted
show examples
 boy student, who is
in
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on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 way
of
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to
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his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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school
by
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
driveless
Correct article usage
a driveless
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 car, so he substantially feels relaxed and
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comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 through his travelling, enjoying looking
at
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apply
show examples
out through
Correct article usage
the cars'
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cars'
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car's
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 window.
Additionally
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,
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driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
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vehicles
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 can be far safer than in-person
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driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as some drivers tend to drive overspeed, people who commute in
Use synonyms
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 might be much
safetly
Correct your spelling
safer
. In conclusion,
while
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 there are various
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 in terms of
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of prevalent of the
driveless
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vehicles
Use synonyms
, I strongly believe that the benefits of
this
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 trend
such
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 as offering a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
comfort
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 and
safetly
Correct your spelling
safety
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly outweigh
Linking Words
this drawbacks
Change the determiner
this drawback
these drawbacks
show examples
.
Submitted by mahanz on

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task response
To improve task response, try to expand on each argument with more specific examples and evidence. Make sure each point supports your position clearly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, working on linking sentences and paragraphs with more varied connectors will help the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
task response
You've provided some examples to illustrate your points, helping to clarify your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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