IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter explain what you would like to do explain what kind of work or studies you have been doing for the past few years ask for assistance in contacting an appropriate institution

#friend #lives #city #course #colleges #work #studies #years #assistance #institution
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Dear Maninder, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I hope you are doing well in Canada. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to tell you that I have decided to join a study course in your current home city Surrey. I am looking to
take
Verb problem
be
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admission
Replace the word
admitted
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in
Change preposition
to
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 Mount International College and pursue my Master's in Computer Applications. I have been trying to find a suitable institute with
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 academic and job placement history. I completed my Bachelor's in Computer Applications back in 2022 and I have been working with a local company ever since. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I want to gain some practical experience before taking a master's course.
Moreover
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, I did not have enough financial resources to support my studies. I was wondering if you could help
a
Correct pronoun usage
me a
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little by enquiring about Mount International College.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it would be more favourable if you could visit the college and ask them about
this
Linking Words
 course. I hope you will help me
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 of your abilities. I am looking forward to hearing from you as well. Best Wishes, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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single idea per paragraph
You could break down the second paragraph into two separate ideas: first discussing the course, then elaborating on your past studies and work experience. This separation would enhance the clarity and focus.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea. Although your paragraphs are generally focused, the second paragraph includes multiple ideas that could be split for improved coherence.
suitable writing tone
You've used an appropriate and friendly tone throughout the letter, which is well-suited for personal correspondence while maintaining a clear purpose.
logical structure
The structure of your letter follows a clear and logical progression, with a greeting, a detailed explanation of your intent, background, request for assistance, and a proper closing.
complete response
You have included all the necessary details in your response: explaining your intentions, background, and a request for assistance.
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