IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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In modern society, several states would like to implement a law to ban long working hours. In
this
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 essay, I will provide the reason why the rule is required and what advantages are to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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national development.
To begin
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 with, the government recognises a sort of disease is caused by overwasting
time
Use synonyms
 at work. When people stay at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 after normal working hours, reduced leisure moments can disallow workers to do
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 activities to improve their bodies and reduce working pressure and anxiety.
For example
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,
according to
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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 study, the number of people with heart disease is increasing
due to
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 a lack of regular exercise, Exercise not only improves physical health but
also
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 enhances mental
helth
Correct your spelling
health
.
In addition
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, I think that a rule set-up can bring a sort of advantage to our society and company, In terms of
publc
Correct your spelling
public
 health sectors, the number of individuals suffering from diseases can be reduced if the company have more
time
Use synonyms
 to do relaxing exercise and team sports. Doctors can focus their resources on
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
 the real necessities,
Moreover
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, reducing working
time
Use synonyms
 can help to improve the company's productivity. The firm encourages staff to complete their task on
time
Use synonyms
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 helps to reduce the overhead costs. Banning long working
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 have numerous benefits to our country. In conclusion, long working hour for
employee
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employees
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 has certain drawbacks for workers themselves. Implementing the rules can enhance workers' health
condition
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conditions
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 utilise public resources with a better plan and increase job productivity.

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that examples are specific and directly related to the main points to strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Organize your ideas logically and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
complete response
Provide a complete response by addressing all parts of the question with clear and comprehensive ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the question.
supported main points
Main points are supported with reasonable justifications, though more specific examples could enhance them.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay identifies the reasons and potential benefits of limiting working hours, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
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