Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, the younger generation is not acknowledged of rising issues in the economy. For
this
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, they need to engage themselves in social events, volunteer activities can be one of those. All teens need to be
part
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of social groups offering community-related work.
This
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ultimately brings growth in their personality
as well as
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awareness among the public. I agree with said notion, which will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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with, social media is becoming the most significant
part
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of every individual life. People spend ample hours
in
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apply
show examples
scrolling videos on multiple applications. Unfortunately,
this
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will adversely affect the health. It leads to obesity
due to
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less physical activity.
However
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, Opting for volunteer work
in
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during
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those free hours would save you from getting into any health-related issues.
For instance
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, participating in free fund activities involves a number of jobs like giving receipts and helping old people to get in the right direction. All of these roles involve some body movement. It will ultimately contribute to having a good physique rather than wasting time by sitting
at
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in
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one place.
In addition
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, our economy is suffering from a number of problems like poverty, low income, fewer job opportunities and inadequate medical facilities in rural areas. Getting involved in unpaid workshops
,
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apply
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creates a sense of awareness among youth as they can start preparing themselves
according to
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what society demands.
For example
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, rural areas are affected the most by not having a proper medical system which could cause
a
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apply
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death because of not getting treatment at the right time. Working with free-funded medical camps will not solely benefit the rural area population but motivate adults to opt for those demanding fields to eradicate the issue .
Moreover
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, volunteer jobs
is
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are
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part
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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of various fields like medical, environmental protection and construction. Volunteering for non-profit organisations in specific fields would allow you to learn teamwork, broaden your knowledge, and improve your communication and decision-making skills. Being a
part
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of these companies, you will get to know your potential and it will
also
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help to make your vision clear in choosing a career path. To add up, a
person
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will
also
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improve those areas in which they are lacking.
Furthermore
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, getting yourself enrolled in non-profit associations would allow a
person
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to know about their responsibilities.
While
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performing any job duty,
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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get to know
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how they handle the situation. To cite an example,
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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with a job comes up with
different
Correct article usage
a different
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personality as
compare
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compared
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to
jobless
Correct article usage
a jobless
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.
As they
Correct word choice
They
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need to get up early and learn to manage their time and how much they need to
contributes
Wrong verb form
contribute
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in
Change preposition
to
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their daily basis activities.
To conclude
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, working with non-profit firms will have uncountable advantages which provide help to the needy ones
as well as
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make the younger generation aware of coming obstacles and show ways to tackle
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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at their early stage of life.
Submitted by bajwaraman415 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly addresses the main ideas. Avoid digressing into unrelated topics.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Real-world examples related to teenagers benefiting from community work would enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some of the ideas you mention. Some parts of your essay make logical connections, but others could benefit from a clearer link to the main question.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your point of view and sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
supported main points
You have attempted to provide various reasons and examples to support your standpoint, showing a thoughtful consideration of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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