in many countries,people are now living longer than ever before.some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments.other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. to what extend do the advantages of having an againg population outweigh the disadvantages?

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The line graph illustrates the changes that took place in the
cost
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of three different materials over
one-year
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the one-year
a one-year
show examples
period
during
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in
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2014.
Overall
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, what can be seen is that there was a dramatic fall in the
cost
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of Nickel
whereas
Linking Words
Zinc and Copper had slight fluctuations. If we look at the details for Nickel, it
startet
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started
starts
at
6
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a 6
show examples
% higher
price
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than
last
Linking Words
month
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but
weatnessed
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witnessed
a sharp decline in the two following
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month
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months
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and
then
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remained the same until April at only
1
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a 1
show examples
% rise,
then
Linking Words
it
begon
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began
to drop slightly the next
month
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, and fell steeply to -3% in June, which meant that the
price
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of Nickel was in its lowest place and was the cheapest material generally.
Then
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, it rose and remained stable for three
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month
Change to a plural noun
months
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, and faced a growth till
Desember
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December
to 1% higher
price
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. As for Copper, it started with a small reduction for four months from 2% to just under 0%, which means its
cost
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lowered gradually.
Then
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, it went up between Jun to July, for
amlost
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a loss of
1.5%. At
this
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point, it remained the same for two following
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month
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months
show examples
and saw a slight drop but it ended at
higher
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a higher
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point
in
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with
show examples
approximately
1.5
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a 1.5
show examples
% of
rise
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the rise
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in its
cost
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. Regarding Zinc, it showed an opposite pattern, its
price
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went up in the first
month
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to 3%, which was the highest
cost
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for
this
Linking Words
material during the whole period
mantioned
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mentioned
.
Subsequantly
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Subsequently
, for three months, it saw a small fall, reaching 1%, the initial number it started with. In the following five months, it fluctuated around -0.5%.
Finally
Linking Words
, started to rise in the
last
Linking Words
two
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month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
,
ended
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and ended
show examples
at 2%, in December.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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language
Ensure consistency in tense usage. For example, "startet" should be "started," and "begon" should be "began."
coherence
Enhance clarity and coherence by maintaining paragraph unity. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea or element of the graph to maintain clarity.
task achievement
Ensure numerical data is accurately and comprehensively represented with consistent use of percentages or values.
task achievement
Good attempt at describing the trends in the line graph with specific examples and data.
coherence
Appropriate use of sequencing words like "Overall," "If we look at," and "Regarding," which helps in structuring the response.
language
Effective use of comparative language to describe changes and differences between materials, though it could be made clearer with more specificity on the implications of these differences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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