Some people believe that hard work and determination are the main requirements to become successful in life, while others say there are other factors lead to success. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

#people #work #determination #requirements #life #factors #success

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Working hard and being determined have always been the main steps of success,

however

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, some believe that other factors

also

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contribute to being successful. Both these views will be discussed in the following essay.

To begin

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with, nothing in

life

Use synonyms

come

Correct subject-verb agreement

comes

show examples

easily or freely,

therefore

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, one needs to be hardworking and determined in order that he/she can achieve his

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

hers

Correct pronoun usage

her

show examples

goals in

life

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, if someone has certain targets to be successful they should start putting

great

Change the article

a great

show examples

deal of effort, and

also

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must be quite focused on the targets.

For instance

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, when an engineer

set

Wrong verb form

sets

show examples

up a company, he or she essentially has to be working industriously and rather decisive about the business goals,

otherwise

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the success will not be accomplished.

On the other hand

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however

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, there are other factors

also

Linking Words

great

Change preposition

of great

show examples

importance

Change preposition

for

show examples

accomplishment,

such

Linking Words

as capital, education and business plan.

For example

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, money is

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the main tools of performance, sometimes a person might be

fundamentaly

Correct your spelling

fundamentally

decided and relatively diligent, but unfortunately, if he or she does not have the required resources the desired outcome may not be achieved. Another reason for achieving objectives in

life

Use synonyms

is a good education. To illustrate, if an individual is not educated about business and

other aspect

Change the wording

another aspect

other aspects

show examples

of it, his or

hers

Correct the word

her

show examples

decisiveness and energy may not lead to a desired goal.

To sum up

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, when everything above mentioned is taken under consideration, even though determination and working laboriously are vital aspects of becoming successful in

life

Use synonyms

, there are other determiners,

such

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as capital and resources, and

therefore

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, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

not just determination and working-hard contribute to the success but

also

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others as well.

Submitted by duygulaleoglu on Mon Jan 06 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that examples provided are directly relevant and specific enough to substantiate the points made. Providing concrete and clear examples will strengthen the task response.

coherence and cohesion

Although the essay is well-structured, working on the flow between ideas will enhance coherence. It is advisable to use a wider range of linking words to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

coherence and cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which effectively summarize the main points and provide a coherent frame for the essay.

task achievement

The essay responds fully to the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing the writer's own opinion, which is articulated in the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people believe that hard work and determination are the main requirements to become successful in life, while others say there are other factors lead to success. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

Your opinion

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

in some countries , owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negetive situation

Many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.