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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 report illustrates the total
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by the Tourist Information Centre in a city, over a period of six
months
Use synonyms
 in the year 2011, including the different
enquiry
Use synonyms
 methods used.
In person
Add a hyphen
In-person
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enquiries
Use synonyms
 increased the most between the
months
Use synonyms
 of March and April,
whereas
Linking Words
 telephone
enquiries
Use synonyms
 experienced the greatest rise from the
months
Use synonyms
 of April to May. Between the
months
Use synonyms
 of January and
June
Use synonyms
,
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
Add a comma
person,
show examples
enquiries
Use synonyms
maintained
Add a missing verb
were maintained
show examples
anduring
Correct your spelling
during
enduring
this
Linking Words
 time period. Both the
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
 and telephone
enquiry
Use synonyms
 methods shared a similar feat in
enquiry
Use synonyms
 numbers, with the greatest
enquiry
Use synonyms
 rise between the
months
Use synonyms
 of April and
June
Use synonyms
 as indicated by the sharp slopes on the respective line graphs. Comparatively, the
enquiry
Use synonyms
 method of letter and email experienced a gradual decrease in number for the reported
months
Use synonyms
 of January to May.
However
Linking Words
, during the
months
Use synonyms
 of March to April and May to
June
Use synonyms
 respectively, both the telephone
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
letter and email
enquiry
Use synonyms
 methods maintained a steady
enquiry
Use synonyms
 number
indicted
Correct your spelling
indicated
show examples
 by the plateau on their respective line graphs. The Tourist Information Centre received the most number of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in the month of
June
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sdfitriyanti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words enquiries, months, enquiry, june with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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