One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There has been an ongoing debate

abouth

Correct your spelling

about

whether

revolutinized

Correct your spelling

revolutionized

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

served individuals which

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

life

Use synonyms

expectancy. Some argue that it has a positive effect,

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

it will lead to

exchange

Add an article

an exchange

the exchange

show examples

Use synonyms

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

experiences

between generations in

differnet

Correct your spelling

different

aspects of

life

Use synonyms

, and obuviously help

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

generations

learn wisely from

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

while

Linking Words

others believe that, it

put

Wrong verb form

puts

show examples

more strain on

Use synonyms

pension

Correct article usage

the pension

show examples

sector,

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason

Use synonyms

new regulatoins has been legislated, to put down some heavy pressure on these department.

While

Linking Words

I agree that the

advantges

Correct your spelling

advantages

live

Change the word

living

show examples

longer are

outwighted

Correct your spelling

outweighed

the disadvantages. I believe other factors,

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

experienced

, and

wise

Replace the word

wisdom

show examples

also

Linking Words

play a significant role

for

Change preposition

show examples

my agreement. One significant

reason

Use synonyms

why

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

should keep

optomize

Correct your spelling

optimize

, and try to help

people

Use synonyms

to live more

years

Use synonyms

is that a huge

Use synonyms

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

will transfer to young, impulsive, and with no or

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

Use synonyms

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

experienced

people

Use synonyms

to deal with different aspects of

life

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can be seen even in

govermental

Correct your spelling

governmental

consultention

Correct your spelling

consultation

, most of the time the

people

Use synonyms

represent the

counsil

Correct your spelling

council

counsel

considered elderly, more than 60

years

Use synonyms

old, which

represent

Correct subject-verb agreement

represents

show examples

a journey of 6

daecades

Correct your spelling

decades

suffrer

Correct your spelling

sufferer

suffer

, hunger, and

diseaster

Correct your spelling

disaster

disease

they encountered over

this

Linking Words

period which is

in contrast

Linking Words

to previous centuries where was the

life

Use synonyms

span of

people

Use synonyms

is less than 50

years

Use synonyms

old, and the

reason

Use synonyms

behind

that is

Linking Words

obsolete

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

system.

For instance

Linking Words

, in an

eliction

Correct your spelling

election

of developed countries, one of the most important

crateria

Correct your spelling

criteria

homogenous

Add an article

a homogenous

show examples

mixture between

expert

Add an article

an expert

show examples

formal worker in

differnet

Correct your spelling

different

speciality and youngers who are

enthusiste

Correct your spelling

enthusiastic

enthusiasts

to make a difference.

This

Linking Words

clearly shows that

Use synonyms

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

and

wisdom

Use synonyms

are becoming increasingly important in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern countries, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

supported by a thriving

Use synonyms

health

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

care

Use synonyms

system. Another important

reason

Use synonyms

why

life

Use synonyms

longer is

Change the article

apply

show examples

beneficial to our

soceities

Correct your spelling

societies

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the abundance

Use synonyms

wisdom

Change preposition

of wisdom

show examples

the older citizens got it all over the

years

Use synonyms

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is a valuable

beyoned

Correct your spelling

beyond

just thinking about

Use synonyms

pension

Correct article usage

the pension

show examples

budget crisis which

on the other hand

Linking Words

is solvable with new regulations,

For example

Linking Words

when we have a lot of wise old

oepole

Correct your spelling

people

that will provide us with wise

communites

Correct your spelling

communities

community

, looking outbox, and will be more merciful.

This

Linking Words

demonstrate

Change the verb form

demonstrates

show examples

that

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

live more

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

contributes

Correct subject-verb agreement

contribute

show examples

significantly to

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

overall

Linking Words

wisdom

Use synonyms

in communities, not just as burden the

pension

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

argue that

Use synonyms

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care

Use synonyms

system is the primary

reason

Use synonyms

for

Use synonyms

pension

Correct article usage

the pension

show examples

crisis by helping

people

Use synonyms

to live longer, I

firmely

Correct your spelling

firmly

believe that it offers

numeours

Correct your spelling

numerous

other benefits,

such

Linking Words

wisdom

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

m.e.a1434

Jan 7, 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, work on smoothing transitions between paragraphs to improve overall coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a topic sentence to help make your points clearer. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses the task well, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy due to improved medical care. However, the complexity of ideas can be enhanced by further exploring additional perspectives or supporting arguments.

Task Achievement

Review your language for minor grammatical errors and misspellings. This will enhance the clarity of your essay.

Task Achievement

You have effectively included examples to support your points, such as the role of experience in governance and the wisdom conveyed by older generations.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and aligns with the essay question, demonstrating a consistent position.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

411 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
public resources
pension systems
healthcare costs
workforce dynamics
intergenerational relationships
quality of life
retirement age
cultural enrichment
economic contributions
caregiving roles
personal satisfaction
healthier aging population

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