In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Children
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are told that they need to try their best to gain anything they want in life.
While
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this
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message may foster their motivation and resilience to focus on their goals, it may create big expectations and put pressure on them.
This
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massage
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message
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can boost
children
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's motivation to face difficulties. Giving
children
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encouragement helps them to become stronger and gives them the ability to gain their strength when they are faced with struggles which provides a strong and brave generation who are not afraid of anything and have the courage to change the world around them.
Therefore
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,
this
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has a positive impact on our universe.
For example
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, a study at Oxford University shows that most inventors and successful people are those who were raised by families that encourage them and give them positive quotes to remember. Motivating
children
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by telling them to have bigger expectations.
This
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is because when
children
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are faced with no or bad results after doing all that they can, that may have negative effects on them and sometimes discourage them from trying again. All that causes them to be depressed and have weak personalities which may deteriorate their mental or physical health.
For instance
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, a study shows that most people who visit psychiatrists are those who are not satisfied with the results they get . In conclusion,
while
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the belief that hard work leads to success can inspire
children
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to strive for their goals, it may negatively impact their lives if they do not meet their goals.
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coherence
Focus on creating a clearer logical progression in your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, forming a coherent argument.
task achievement
Strengthen the support for your main points by providing more detailed examples or explanations to enhance comprehensibility.
coherence
The essay introduces the topic and provides a clear conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The task response is substantially complete, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the message discussed.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the Oxford University study, are used to illustrate points, adding depth to the discussion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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